Plushie Akatsuki!
by Pendragon-sama
Summary: I suck at summaries and titles! An ordinary fangirl gets a rather special Christmas present, that just happen to turn into the Akatsuki when she hugs them! What will happen? Rated for Hidan's mouth and stuff!
1. The Box

**A/N: Hey there my non-existent readers! Here is some fangirl mush for ya!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto there would be so much more romance! I only own Aiko**

Speech!

"meh" normal speech

_'meh'_ thoughts

"**meh" ** Black Zetsu

**(meh) **A/N

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BEEP!

BEEP!

BEEP!

BEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-CRASH!went the alarm clock as it flew across the room and smashed into the opposite wall, "Screw you, alarm!" I muttered and snuggled back into the many poofy cushions and comfy duvet that was my bed, trying in vain to go back to sleep. I wake up to the exact same thing every morning, and after the first fifteen alarm clocks going through the same procedure of being flung across the room every morning, my dad had bought _very_ sturdy ones, and even if they crashed into the wall with quite some force, they didn't smash _and_ they stopped beeping!

Anyway, enough about alarms, my name is Aiko Death (pronounced dee-ath) it was so embarrassing on my first day at high school! My teachers of course called me death, and it was so boring having to tell each and every one of my teachers how to say my surname! My parents gave a Japanese name just 'cause they're weird, it means 'love child', my mum being the hopeless romantic that she is, and my dad being rubbish at naming, he called his dog _Zogman_ for Jashin's sake! My parents are weird, but then again, aren't all parents weird?

Oh, and did I mention, I'm a complete Narutard! I have this insane obsession over the Akatsuki and Gaara, the awesomest Kazekage in ninja history! Unfortunately all the bookshops around aren't awesome enough to sell Naruto volumes, or even any manga **at all**!!!!! But I manage by using God's greatest gift, the Internet! **(AAH! Going off track!)**

Anyway, my dozing was interrupted by our mad doorbell, my dad has a thing for giant red buttons and so, our doorbell consists of a giant red button with the words 'Do Not Press!' in bold letters emblazoned across it! And if you do press this insanely large button, then the Caramelldansen tune starts playing! As for me, I love the Caramelldansen, but it annoys the hell out of my mum! **(Off track again!)**

So the doorbell rings, and since my parents are out of town I know that if I don't go answer it, the Caramelldansen will be blaring constantly because my dad set it to repeat and can't remember how to turn it off, the baka! I groan and slide out of bed, slipping into my dressing gown and trudging down the hall in my fluffy slippers. I stretch as I reach the front door, and open it, but to my surprise there's no-one there, but there's a rather large cardboard box sitting on the mat. I stare at the box, wondering why the hell it's there, then look suspiciously around in case it's a prank, I mean, a house with a giant doorbell is just screaming to be pranked! As I look around, I gasp when I notice the snow everywhere! Then I remember what day it is and jump in the air, "YAY! IT'S CHRISTMAS!!!" I scream to the world, and then realise all the people passing by staring at me, and I retreat inside with the box, a humiliated blush adorning my features.

I rush over to the lounge with the box, where the fake Christmas tree and presents are, and clap my hands excitedly, but before I can lay a hand on my presents, the phone rings. I scowl at the phone, sending it a death-glare, before pushing the speaker button 'cause I'm too lazy to pick it up, "Hello?" _"Hiya petal, Merry Christmas!" _My mum said in a sing-song voice "Hi Mum! You too!" I said, my mum and dad had gone to America for work, and they couldn't make it back for Christmas, in fact, they won't be back until the end of January, something I was sad about but also grateful for, Hellooooo New Year's Party! I hadn't actually organised it yet, but I couldn't wait!

After chatting with my mum and then my dad, I was finally able to rip open my presents. I ripped off the wrapping paper in a frenzy, revealing fluffy socks, a candyfloss machine, and various other stuff, the best of which being the Akatsuki cloud print pyjamas that my best friend had searched endlessly for, I squealed when I opened those, I _so_ have to glomp her when we get back to school!

I searched through the sea of wrapping paper, trying to find more presents, when I came across the cardboard box. I picked it up and shook it, trying to figure out what was inside, _'It might be a package for mum or something, I wonder if there's a label on it or something' _I tipped the box upside-down, and discovered an envelope taped to the underside "Aha!" I said in triumph, and took off the envelope, 'To AD' it said on the outside. I frowned then shrugged and opened the envelope;

_ To whom it may concern,_

_ the codeword must be chosen immediately after transformation._

_ Yours Sincerely,_

_ AF_

"Well, that's helpful!" I muttered sarcastically, "What the hell? Codeword? Transformation?! And who the fuck is AF?!" I sat there for a while, not knowing what to do. I examined the envelope again, trying to find another clue, but there was only 'To AD' on the front, there wasn't a stamp or even an address, it was like it had been dumped on my doormat! "Who on earth is AD?!" I yelled in frustration, so I gave up and picked up a new pencilcase with my initials stamped on it, _'AD'_, I smacked my forehead "Jashin, I'm an idiot!" I said and crawled back over to the box, trying to prise off the packaging tape or whatever it was with my short nails, and failed, so I went to get some scissors, and sliced it open. Inside was, styrofoam, I dug my hand into the styrofoam and came into contact with something squishy and soft, and I lifted it out, it was a Deidara plushie! I squealed in excitement and tipped the box upside down to reveal a complete set of Akatsuki plushies, along with a smaller box. I jumped up and down on the spot and danced around, and then picked up the smaller box, I opened it to reveal mini versions of Hidan's scythe and Samehada. My eyes sparkled with happiness, I grabbed the Hidan and Deidara plushies 'cause they're my favourite characters and sat the rest on the cardboard box. I lay down on the sofa and held the Hidan and Deidara plushies above me in the air, feeling like the luckiest person in the world. I gazed at them for a while, "You guys are too cute!" I say, and then I put on a funny voice and make them reply _"Yesh we are!"_ I glomped them, squishing them to my chest. Then there was a 'poof', and a puff of smoke, and suddenly there were two, very life-sized Akatsuki lying on top of me. I scream and jump about a metre in the air, landing on my butt, then scrambled to my feet and stared at them in shock and disbelief. They stared back. I kept staring. They also kept staring. And so we remained like this for about ten minutes, until Hidan started looking very bored, "Are you just gonna fucking stare at us all day?!" I blinked, coming to my senses, and took a step back _'Ok, there is no friggin' way that Hidan and Deidara are standing in front of me! I must be delusional! I probably didn't get enough sleep last night or something! Ok, I'll just close my eyes, and when I've opened them, they'll be gone!' _I put my hands over my eyes, and shook my head to clear it, and then, very slowly, opened one eye. They were gone. I sighed with relief and relaxed, and then two pairs of hands grabbed my upper arms, I screamed in surprise and twisted round, pointing at them and babbling nonsense, and they were standing there, laughing their asses off at my reaction. I kept babbling until I thought _'Jashin-dammit! Say something!'_, I searched randomly through my head for a sentence, a phrase, even just a word, and I blurted out the first thing that came into my head "!" I screamed at them, and to my surprise, there was another 'poof' and puff of smoke, and they were plushies again.

"What. The. HELL?!" I said, hitting myself on the head, "This has to be a dream, I'm dreaming, it's a dream, it's a dream, it's a dream!" I said to myself, _'Ok, calm down, since it's a dream, how do you __wake up from a dream?' _the logical side of me thought. I sat back down on the sofa, not taking my eyes off of the plushies, I snapped my fingers "Ding!" I said, (I always say that when I get an idea for some reason) and pinched myself, hard, "OW!" I yelled, rubbing my arm, "Ok then, it's obviously not a dream!". I pulled my hair in frustration _'Jashin-dammit! What the hell am I supposed to do?!'_, then, the Konan plushie fell off the edge of the box, I jumped behind the sofa, glaring at Mini-Konan in case it did something, after a while, I gingerly made my way back over to the box, and poked the Mini-Konan...nothing happened. I relaxed '_Ugh! I could really use some help right now!'_ and then I looked back at the Mini-Konan, "Ding!" I said, picking it up, "Now how did I get Deidara and Hidan to, urr, turn big?", I asked myself, replaying everything that had happened since I opened the box, _'Hmm, I squealed, then tipped box upside down, then dancing, opened small box, grabbed Hidan and Dei, put the rest on the box, lay down on sofa, held them in the air, made 'em talk, glomp!'_, "Aha! The glomp of Doom!" I said, adding on the 'of Doom' for no apparent reason. I glomped Konan and let go, when I heard the 'poof' and the puff of smoke appeared, when it cleared, a full size Konan was standing in front of me. I took a few steps back, I mean, just 'cause it's the third time it's happened, doesn't mean I've gotten used to it!

Konan nodded at me in greeting, I semi-relaxed, "Ok, umm, c-could you tell me w-what the h-hell is going on h-here?!" I demanded, trying to keep the nervous wobble out of my voice and failing. Konan shook her head "No" she replied cooly, keeping eye contact, I stared at her blankly "W-What?!" I said, "No", she repeated calmly, _'Not one for words, I can see'_ I thought, "Well then, can any of the 'others' tell me?" I asked, "No" she said again. I sighed, rubbing my temples, _'Is she deliberately trying to piss me off?! Cos if she is, she's succeeding!'_, I thought.

My head was going into overload, what with the mysterious box and the letter and the plushies that go 'poof' and then turn into people and not knowing what the hell I should do! "ARGH!" I yelled and ran off to my room, locking the door, leaving Konan standing in the lounge.

I jumped into my computer chair and logged on, I mean, there had to be a fanfiction similar to my situation, I could see what happened and maybe one would tell me what to do. I frantically scrolled down the page, there were quite a few stories about them turning into cats, but only three about plushies, two were about yaoi, and the other one took place in the ninja world, so that was a brilliant help, don't get me wrong, I like yaoi, but it wasn't the best time for it! I sighed and slumped in my seat, wondering yet again what the fudge I should do, "Jashin-dammit!" I said to myself.

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**A/N: Phew! I finished it, all 2109 words of it! I'm quite chuffed at that, it's a new record!**

**Anywho, please please review, and feel free to give me ideas on how to improve or whatever!**

**Even if it's just a 'Hn' as Sasuke or Itachi would put it, but pretty please click that pretty green button below! **


	2. First Contact

**A/N: Hey there my now existent reader(s)! THANKYOU MoriOokami!!!!! She/He reviewed AND Story Favourited AND Story Alerted AND Author Favourited AND Author Alerted!!!!!!!! Nobody's ever done this before!!!!! And also thanks to XxXDeidara LoverXxX, Princess Zathura, watergoddesscasey and Azelf1717 for whatever they did, lol! And for those who think that this does nothing, YOU'RE WRONG!!! I was energized into wrangling another chapter from the depths of my random mind!!!!**

**Anyway, in the first chapter it didn't show the word that Aiko yelled for some reason, and put '!' instead (I hope it shows up), it was Super-Calla-Fraja-Listic-Ecspealli-Docious! (Mary Poppins song)**

Speech: (same as before)

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I woke up and groaned, _'Wait! I fell asleep?!'_, I jumped up and grabbed the alarm clock that still lay in it's lopsided position on the floor. I growled in frustration when I realised that I'd broken it this morning. I threw myself onto my bed and scrambled to my bedside table, pulling the drawer out roughly and taking out one of the many alarm clocks and looking at the time '13:19', _'That means I've been asleep for, wait, when did I fall asleep?'_ I looked back over to my computer, it was still on the page.

~Flashback~

_I was scrolling down the page frantically, reading the summaries then moving down to the next one, there was nothing, nothing that could help me at all! I actually considered asking one of the authors what they'd do in my situation, but they'd only think I was crazy. I screamed in frustration and pulled at my hair, slamming down relentlessly on the keyboard, before finally collapsing from the stress onto my desk , sobbing._

End Flashback~

"So that's how I fell asleep..." I muttered, trailing off. Surprisingly, I was no longer freaked out about the fact that my new 'plushies' had turned into the real deal. I focused on keeping my breathing calm and tried to analyse the situation, failing epically. I sank back into my pillows and frowned, then my stomach let out a "Grrrrrrrrrr~" and I started to panic again, because the kitchen was past the lounge, so there was no way in hell for me to get food without having to go through. I decided to stay in my room, but my stomach greatly protested to that, letting out another "Grrrrrrrrrr~" so I gave in, after all, I hadn't even had breakfast yet!

I slowly opened the door, silently thanking whatever god was up there when the hinges didn't creak. I tiptoed silently across the laminate floor, and I could hear the TV and voices coming from the lounge. I pressed myself up against the wall, they hadn't noticed me yet, _'Wait a Jashin-damn second! They were all plushies when I left!'_, I groaned inwardly as I remembered leaving Konan alone in the lounge, she must've glomped them or whatever _'No shit, Sherlock!' _I thought to myself, then I noticed that the TV had been turned off and they were talking amongst themselves, I poked my head over the side of the wall, they were standing in a circle, most of them with their backs facing me "....obviously reacted badly to our arrival" said a deep, commanding voice, "She looked kinda happy when she opened the box though, un!" said another masculine voice, "And then you transformed, **on top of her!**" said an annoyed feminine voice, one that I recognised as Konan _'Hello, Captain Obvious!' _,_ 'Oh shush!' _I thought, _'...a random argument with myself is not going to help my situation!'_, I focused on the conversation again, I was so absorbed trying to listen that I didn't notice someone coming up behind me, even when they were right behind me. So when someone suddenly grabbed me and threw me over his shoulder, I let out a surprised squeak, much to the amusement of my captor and to the people in my lounge, who started chuckling, and in one case, full blown laughter. I was carried into the lounge by an insanely tall person, I tried kicking my captor but I never made contact, so I started trying to punch his back, but this had the opposite effect as he said "A little higher", I let out a 'hmph' of annoyance and yelled "Put me down, dammit!" and he chuckled. To annoy me further, once we'd reached the group, he kept me on his shoulder, I growled and tried to wriggle out of his grip, and eventually managed to stretch my hand up and pull his hair "For Jashin's sake! Put. Me. Down!" I emphasized each word, trying to make my voice sound formidable. One of them said "Ooh, she's a feisty bitch", and I gasped in indignation, "Bastard!" I said back, I could basically feel him smirking at me "You're not really in a position to be fucking calling me that" he said, I froze, I mean, I was in the hands of who were considered to be S-Class criminals in the Naruto world, _'Shit! I need to get out of here!'_ I thought, there was no way in hell that I was going to be let down any time in the near future, ditto with breaking this guy's grip, and pulling his hair didn't faze him at all, so I decided to be an actress about it. I sagged, my shoulders starting to shake and I brought my hands up to my face, letting out a small whimper, trying to sound as scared as possible, I felt my captor turn his head to try and look at me, and I continued pretending to cry, "Guys, I think we overdid it, un" said the masculine voice from before, and I felt my captor begin to lower me down, I let out a strangled sob for emphasis, and even when I was put on the sofa I kept up with my act. But, once I was sure that they thought I was breaking down, I leapt over the sofa and sprinted in the direction of my room, shouting a "Take that, losers!" over my shoulder, "Sneaky Bitch!" I heard one of them yell after me, and I was almost at my door when I felt something wrap around my ankle, making me fall flat on my face "Dammit!" I said, and then the thing wrapped around my ankle began pulling me back into the lounge. I tried to grab the wall as I went past, but I missed, and then I felt myself being lifted into the air, upside down, I had to grab my pyjama top to stop it from rising up!

I glared at my new captor, which turned out to be Kakuzu, and then I glared at the rest of them, I obviously didn't seem too scary. Hidan was smirking at me, "So who's the loser now, bitch!", I opened my mouth to retort, but Konan beat me to it, "Shut. Up" she said, sending him a death glare, and he rolled his eyes, but he did shut up. I looked at the others, they were all there, Deidara, Sasori, Tobi/Madara, Zetsu, Pein, Kisame, Itachi, Konan, Kakuzu and Hidan. Tobi waved at me enthusiastically, "Tch, you don't fool me" I said, Pein and Konan stiffened, whereas the others just gave me weird looks, well, Itachi just stared. I began to feel dizzy on account of all the blood rushing to my head, "Umm, could you let me down now?" I asked, "No" said Kakuzu, "C'mon, please! I won't run away again!" Kakuzu glanced at Pein who gave him an approving nod, and Kakuzu promptly dropped me on my head, luckily I wasn't too far from the ground, "Ow, dammit! What was that for?!" I yelled, clutching my head, "For being a fucking smartass!" Hidan replied, and I lost my temper, "I swear if you don't shut your god-damn mouth, I will draw yaoi of you and Kakuzu!" I yelled, Hidan burst out laughing, "What the fuck is yaoi?!" he asked. I smirked "You don't wanna know" I said, now Deidara started chuckling, Sasori started to smile, Tobi/Madara pretended to look confused and Kakuzu smirked under his mask, Zetsu, Pein, Konan and Itachi remained emotionless.

"Fine then, wait here" I said, and stomped off to my room, I felt a tentacle curl around my ankle again, "I'm coming back, you idiot!" I yelled back at them, the tentacle remained, "Fine then!" I said, and continued walking towards my bedroom door, the tentacle didn't yank me off my feet, thankfully.

In my room, I walked over to my desk and picked up my sketchbook, and walked back out, closing the door. When I closed my door, the tentacle pulled, again yanking me off my feet, and I cried out in surprise, I could hear them laughing again, "Will you quit it!" I yelled, sitting up, I got a yank for a reply, I growled to myself, _'Jashin-dammit, they're a pain!'_.

Once I had been released I said "Whatever you see, tearing this apart is **not allowed**!" I said, Deidara rolled his eyes, "Yes, _Mum_, un!", and I gave them the sketchbook.

What happened next was rather amusing, as they flicked through my sketchbook, Hidan and Deidara's faces blushed a little more, once they were finished they were redder than tomatoes, "What the fuck, girl! You have a bloody sick mind!" Hidan yelled, Deidara nodded, "There's no way I would do anything like that with Danna, un!", I shrugged, "Try telling that to all your fangirls worldwide" I said, "Although the pairings are varied, I mean, there's SasoDei, KakuHida, ItaKisa, PeinTobi, DeiTobi, ItaMada, ItaSasu, ZetsuHida, KakuSaso, and billions of others, not to mention pairing Konan with each of you", I finished, looking at their disgusted faces smugly. Konan shuddered "What is ItaSasu?" said Itachi, "Oh My Jashin!!! Itachi spoke!!! It must be the apocalypse!!!" I yelled, earning me weird looks, "What is it?" Itachi repeated, more demanding now, "It's you paired with your brother" I said, and he turned a pale green, the others burst out laughing, even Tobi/Madara couldn't help it. I decided to torment them a bit more, "And don't even get me started on the fanfictions", Tobi/Madara pretended to be confused again "Tobi wants to know what a fanfiction is!", I grinned evilly, "They're storys written by fans, mostly fangirls, and the yaoi ones can pretty graphic, like the SasoDei ones...", Sasori and Deidara were suddenly paying very close attention, "...where Deidara moans as his 'Danna' kisses into his neck, unbuttoning his cloak and taking his shirt off, before Sasori plunges his tongue into Deidara's mouth-" I was cut off by Deidara's hand over my mouth, "Another word, and I'll make you into a piece of my art, un!", I started to blush, because I was painfully aware of his hand-mouth pressed against my lips, he seemed to realise this and blushed, removing his hand quickly.

I plonked myself onto the sofa, still blushing, in my opinion, Deidara and Hidan were friggin' **hawt**, Itachi noticed, and I could practically feel his smirk and his gaze boring a hole into the side of my head, thankfully Pein took my attention away from Itachi by coming up to me and asking "What's your name?", I looked up at him "Aiko" I said, "Do we get a last name, un?" said Deidara, sitting next to me, "Y-yeah, it's Death" I replied shakily, extremely conscious of how close he was. Tobi/Madara tilted his head "dee-ath?" he said in his fake voice, I rolled my eyes, "You can stop with the act now" I said to him, again I noticed Pein stiffen considerably, Deidara raised an eyebrow at me, "What" I asked, annoyed, he didn't move, "Ugh, c'mon, he's friggin' Mada-" I was cut off by a hand over my mouth, again! This time it wasn't Deidara, Tobi/Madara had gone in for a 'hug', and conveniently covered my mouth at the same time, _'Jerk!'_, I yelled in my head.

My stomach growled loudly, reminding of the reason why I came out from the safety of my room, I blushed with embarrassment, and Deidara smirked, then there was a longer, louder growl, and I knew for certain it wasn't me this time, "Where's the fucking food, bitch?!" Well gee, I wonder who that was (note my heavy sarcasm), _'Well I'm screwed, 11 people in need of food! Jashin-dammit! Why couldn't they just stay plushies?!"_, I sighed and looked at the mess of wrapping paper that was still surrounding the Christmas Tree, noticing the letter. I picked it up and re-read it, _'Hmm, Codeword?'_, I thought, and snapped my fingers, remembering when I yelled a random word at Deidara and Hidan and they poofed back into plushies, "Hey Hidan, what was that word I yelled at you when you snuck up on me?" I asked innocently, Hidan looked up from his argument with Kakuzu, or should I say down, since I'm shorter than him, "The fuck?!" he said, I restrained myself from rolling my eyes, "Why should I tell you?!" he retorted, "Oh, just 'cause you're so amazingly smart and good-looking!" I said, just managing to keep the phrase from dripping with sarcasm, Hidan raised an eyebrow suspiciously before deciding that I meant it and let his arrogance get the better of him, _'Wow, I never thought he wouldn't recognise flattery, probably doesn't get it much'_, Hidan nodded, "Uh, ok, it was Super calla-something" and then Deidara smacked him upside the head, "Why the fuck did you fucking do that, bastard!" Hidan yelled, "You idiot, now she's gonna turn us back into dolls, un!" Hidan's eyes widened and he whipped round to face me, I was smirking evilly, but as I opened my mouth, Deidara's hand came over my mouth again, causing the blush to come back full force, Itachi started smirking again. I sighed, _'Jashin-dammit! They know exactly what I'm going to do next! I suppose they aren't called ninja for nothing'_, I tried to pull his hand off my face, but his hand mouth opened slightly, I froze, my face redder than ever, Itachi's smirk was almost wide enough to be a smile, almost. He looked me in the eye, _'Don't you dare!' _I mentally screamed at him, I had to escape from Deidara or at least draw attention away from Itachi, my sobbing act wouldn't work again, and there was no way in hell I was going to be able to prise his hand off my mouth, so I did something that embarrassed me greatly, I felt the blush spreading to my ears, and kissed Deidara's hand-mouth! Thankfully, he jumped and removed his hand, and I skipped out of his reach and held my hands up in surrender before another one could grab me again, "I need food" I said, and they let me walk towards the kitchen, "Tobi wants to come too!" said the evil mastermind, and he ran up to me, crushing me in a back-breaking bear hug, "C-Can't b-breathe!" I gasped, and he let me go, "Sorry, Ai-chan! Tobi just wanted to give you a hug!" I hmphed and walked towards the kitchen, "And don't call me Ai-chan!" I said over my shoulder, Tobi/Madara followed, once we were in the kitchen he shut the door behind us, I turned to face him, "Ok, you can stop with the lame act _**Madara Uchiha**_!" I said, my voice dripping with malice.

Madara chuckled darkly, and started advancing towards me, I stepped back every time he stepped forward, until my back hit the wall, he keep walking towards me, I stretched my arms out to try and stop him, but it had no effect. He was inches away from me, and still moving forward, I started panicking a little, and tried to edge away, but he slammed his hand on the wall, stopping me from going any further, and he did the same with his other hand, I was trapped!

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**A/N: Oh Noes! Fear the Power of the Cliffhanger!!! This one's longer than the last one, W00T!!! 2,772 words!!! I hope you liked it!!! Again, please click the green button, yea, that one, right there! In the words of Tigger, 'T-T-F-N, Ta Ta For Now!!!!' lol ^.V!!!**


	3. Chapter 3, Part 1: 'RAPE' and Revenge

**A/N: Hey there people! Thanks so much for the reviews, the story alerts, story favourites, author alerts and author favourites, especially to everybody who did ALL of them!!! ^.^ My email inbox was overflowing!!! (hugs you all)**

**A little bird called Megzie-chan told me they kept losing their place and had to go and re-read it, sorry about that, paragraphs always seem to elude me somehow, no matter how many times my English teachers yell at me to remember, I just get carried away with the story and have to get my ideas out all at once! So bear with me with that sort of thing! **

**Another thing was, I forgot to put the disclaimer in the last chapter, AAH! But I'm too lazy to change it so this is for the previous chapter too!**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto the Akatsuki guys would walk around shirtless!**

**Anywho! On with the story!!!**

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I was trapped, Madara had me cornered, I found myself silently begging for one of the other members to walk in, even though we hadn't been gone long enough to arouse suspicion. I shut my eyes and tried to push away the terror that was building up inside me, "Look at me" he demanded, I shook my head and closed my eyes tighter. Suddenly, a hand was on my neck and my eyes flew open in shock, his mask was almost pressed up against my face, and I was gazing directly into a sharingan eye, I shut my eyes again to stop myself being caught in a potential genjutsu, I had no way of releasing a genjutsu as I didn't have chakra, so I would be at his mercy until he released me, a position I really didn't want to be in. Madara growled in annoyance at my defiance, and he began to squeeze, my eyes almost flew open again, but I stopped them, instead opening my right eye, avoiding the eye-hole of his mask. He squeezed tighter, breathing began to be difficult, my hands groped at his fingers weakly and black spots began to appear in my vision, my other eye opened and I no longer had the strength to close it, choosing instead to frantically claw at his hold around my neck. I faintly heard him mutter, "Mangekyo Sharingan" and I was dragged into another dimension.

I was alone in the negative world, there were no fingers strangling me, no Madara. I looked around, there was no end to this dimension, no floor, even though I was standing on solid ground. From what I had seen of the Mangekyo, it was used to cause mental pain, and three days here was a mere second in the normal world. Of course my body was still there, it was only my subconscious here. I cast about, looking for Madara, he wasn't anywhere. Then I heard his voice echoing around me, "What do you know about me?" he said, I could refuse to answer, but then he'd probably use some sort of torture method, "I-I know m-much" I stuttered, "Define 'much'", he replied menacingly, "A-alot..." I replied, a dark chuckle echoed around me, and suddenly his face was next to mine, an arm draped over my shoulder, I was reminded vividly of Shippuuden episode 51*.

A small part of me was screaming, _'Too close!'_, I mean, does he not know the meaning of personal space?! But I couldn't move, and he leant closer, "Playing hard to get won't get you anywhere" he whispered, his words frighteningly clear after the echoes from before.

I gulped, I could feel his smirk, "E-everything" I whispered, and then there was a wall behind me, I was sandwiched between a wall and an Uchiha, the word 'RAPE' written all over the situation. And yet I was frozen in fear, _'C'mon girl, snap out of it!'_ I internally yelled, and tried to inwardly slap my subconscious, becoming confused when nothing happened, _'Oh yeah, this __**is**__ my subconscious'_ I thought, and Madara chuckled, signifying that he had heard absolutely everything that had been going through my mind, including the personal space and rape-like situation. I really felt like giving him a good old punch on the snozzle, but I still couldn't move.

He backed away _'Finally!'_ I thought, relief spreading through me, "If you're not going to tell me, I'll have to spill your guts for you", I stiffened, hoping desperately that he meant the metaphorical term, and then I felt him dive into my mind, pain racking my head as he sifted through my memories, I bit back a scream as he delved ever deeper into my memories, until finally, the pain faded, my vision swirled, and I was back in the kitchen, Madara's fingers still around my neck.

He let go and I gasped and starting breathing heavily, feeling weak. He pressed me up against the wall with his body, his head resting on top of mine, taking advantage of my light-headedness, "One last thing, I advise you not to tell the others" he said evilly. I blinked and my head cleared, and I remembered the rest of the Akatsuki, an evil grin crossed my face and I yelled "RAPE!" as loud as I could. A few seconds later, the sound of many footsteps could be heard, and Madara jumped back, I slumped against the wall, my pyjama top was in disarray due to my struggling earlier, completing the effect. The kitchen door burst open to reveal the rest of the Akatsuki, who looked to me, and then 'Tobi' and back again. A few things happened next, Konan walked over and slung one of my arms over her shoulder, and helped me walk back into the lounge, whilst the rest of the Akatsuki except Pein, Itachi and Zetsu, surrounded 'Tobi', and glared at him, and he pretended to freak out, trying to come up with an excuse at the same time, I knew it wasn't only his Tobi-act that was making him stutter, and I smiled, revenge is sweet!

* * *

A few hours later, 'Tobi' was trussed up under the coffee table and I was sitting on the middle of the sofa, munching on toast and chocolate spread, mmmmmm. Kisame was cooing away to his beloved Samehada, Kakuzu was counting some money he'd got from somewhere, Hidan was stroking his scythe, Konan and Pein were having a quiet conversation, Itachi was sitting on the left side of the sofa with his arms folded, Zetsu's face and the tops of his flytrap-things could be seen poking out of the floor and Sasori and Deidara were arguing about art. I had completely recovered from the 'incident', replaying 'Tobi's' capture over and over in my head, yes, revenge is sweet, unless it involves killing someone for something and then finding out it was a mistake and going to kill someone else. I looked over at Itachi and sighed as I contemplated his death, I looked over at Deidara and Hidan and did the same, _'Now that I think about it, almost all of them have died in the series so far, there's only five of them left, Kisame, Konan, Pein, Zetsu and Madara, I wonder how they die, if they even die at all! Sasuke killed Deidara AND Itachi! And Konoha killed Sasori, Hidan and Kakuzu...Although I thought Hidan's immortal, so they buried him?! Geez, no fair!!!'_, I growled and Itachi looked at me, eyebrow raised, "I was thinking" I said, "About what?" he purred, edging _ever so slightly_ closer, "S-Stuff" I replied, edging away, "Define 'stuff'" he said, moving closer, I moved away, _'Geez! What is with Uchihas and 'define so-and-so'?!'_, Itachi crept closer again, "Hmmmmmm~?", I was running out of sofa and he kept getting closer, _'Damn persistent Uchiha!'_, I reached the edge, and he caught up to me, pressing his leg against mine, I blushed. I was trapped, again, by an Uchiha, although it was different situation, it still felt like it had 'RAPE' written all over it, the fact that I was still wearing pyjamas not helping, so I crossed my legs, unfortunately this allowed Itachi to get even closer, effectively squishing me against the arm of the sofa, now I was pissed, I opened my mouth to shout 'RAPE!' again, but, for the zillionth time that day, a hand covered my mouth. Surprisingly, it wasn't Itachi, who still had his arms folded, no, this person had big hands, and they were blue. Yep, you guessed it, our favourite sharkman was holding my mouth captive, _'Although I could think of __**better**__ ways to hold my mouth captive' _I thought, and grimaced, Kisame was half fish for Jashin's sake! Ew! I know there are those who find him attractive, but let's face it, I'm NOT one of those people. Kisame's hands felt rough in a pleasant sort of way, but they smelt weird, no, not like fish, just weird. He felt my grimace and put his head over my shoulder, unfortunately on the opposite side to Itachi, "Aww, don't you like my hand?" he said teasingly, a shark-like grin spread over his face. I rolled my eyes and spoke into his hand, but of course it was muffled. Thankfully, I was rescued, by _Hidan_ of all people, "Hey, what the hell are you doing, fucking raping her or something?!", at this, everybody turned to stare at Itachi, Kisame and me in my cornered position. Nobody did anything, and Kakuzu even turned back to his money, Pein and Konan began talking again, and Zetsu sank lower into the floor. I glared at them all for leaving me in this _extremely _uncomfortable position, now I had to try and escape on my own, _'You load of uncaring bastards! What the hell! Don't you mind the fact that they might actually...Oh Shit!'_, I thought, I mean they're S-Class criminals, and being in an organization compiled mostly of men, they're bound to be really undersexed, unless they're all gay, _'Ew! Why did I just think that?!'_, I shook my head to get rid of the mental image, or should I say, tried to shake my head, since I was still in Kisame's grasp, who on the other hand, seemed amused that they'd left us alone. Oh hell, Itachi just unfolded his arms, _'He wouldn't dare!'_, I thought as I watched his hands travel down, coming to a rest on his lap, I sighed in relief, he noticed. I saw his smirk and his hand began slowly edging towards my leg, stopping a millimetre away, I felt Kisame grin and in one swift motion, he pulled me off the sofa and I was thrown over his shoulder again, "Hey!" I protested, and Hidan started laughing, "Shut up, bastard!" I yelled and the laughing stopped "Well, I _was_ gonna help you, but now I'm not, bitch!" he replied, "Well why the hell would you want to help me in the first place, Hidan?!" I retorted, "To piss Kisame off, _Aiko_", I froze in surprise, I'd been fully expecting him to call me a bitch again, _'Hmm, weird'_, I thought, and kicked Kisame in the ribs, and then a hand grabbed my ankle, I instinctively tried to struggle out of their grip, "Let go of my foot, Kisame!" I yelled, "It's not me" he replied, I stopped struggling, "Eh?", and then I was yanked roughly off of Kisame's back, to hang upside down again, I had my back to my new captor, "What is with you people and hanging me upside down!" I yelled, fuming, "I'm not a friggin' doll!", and tried to kick the person holding me with my free foot, they grabbed that ankle too, "Pfft, might as well be a doll if that's all you can do, bitch!", said Hidan, hoisting me up higher, "Hey! Don't drop me on my head like that bastard Kakuzu!", a coin hit my forehead, I stuck my tongue out at him. Kisame laughed, and Hidan dropped me, thankfully on the sofa. I jumped up before Itachi could creep me out again, and walked off in the direction of my bedroom, intending to take a shower in my en-suite bathroom, again Kakuzu's tentacle wrapped around my leg, this time yanking me out from under my feet before I could say anything, "Oi, stop doing that! Am I not allowed to have a shower?! Geez!", I said while rubbing the back of my head, "It's your fault for being so easily captured" he said, I clenched my teeth, "Well excuse me for not being a bloody ninja!" I yelled, pulling at the tentacle, not surprisingly, nothing I did made it snap, or even loosen up at all. I was close to blowing my top, last time that happened, I gave the person who'd pissed me off a broken nose, and they never bothered me again. I was literally shaking with anger, these guys didn't just annoy me, they really, _really _pissed me off! After being thrown over a shoulder, twice, virtually molested, twice, hung upside down, TWICE, and tripped up several times, ALL IN THE SAME BLOODY DAY, wouldn't you be pissed too?!

I forced myself to calm down by crossing my legs and mimicking a random jutsu hand sign, this time it happened to be one of Shikamaru's shadow techniques, I slowed my breathing and closed my eyes. I stayed like that for about ten minutes, and when I was absolutely sure that my temper wasn't likely to rise up again, I opened my eyes....to Hidan's face right in front of mine! I screamed and jumped back, the calming effect of my 'meditating' completely lost, and tried to punch his jaw. He caught my fist and grinned maliciously, I tried to kick him where the sun don't shine, but the tentacle restricted my movements. I was pissed off again. I stood up, grabbed the tentacle and pulled with all my strength, actually managing to make the chair that Kakuzu was sitting on fall over, with him still sitting in it. He stood up and glared at me, his eyes saying 'this is war', _'You bet your ass it's war!'_, I thought, and tucked my pyjama top into my trousers, facing the inevitability of being upside down again. Sure enough, he pulled, and I went shooting across the floor, wheeeee!

Once I was hanging upside down again, he brought me up to eye level and glared at me, I did the same, the tentacle tightened around my ankle and I winced in pain, then smirked "Hey Hidan!" I yelled behind me, Hidan was still halfway across the room, "What?" he yelled back, I cupped my hands around my face, "Kakuzu says Jashinism is shit and fake! Oh, and please don't kill my furniture!", I looked back at Kakuzu, his face looked confused, "What's with the furniture?" he said, "Oh, you'll see, and you might wanna put me down now". Then a scream of rage erupted from Hidan, and Kakuzu dropped me, I landed on my palms to stop myself from landing on my head again, and sprinted out of the way, Kakuzu's eyes widened as he saw Hidan charging full throttle towards him, Hidan collided with Kakuzu, and they shot out of the open window, "Itachi, genjutsu, now!" I yelled, and he complied thankfully, making the fight between Hidan and Kakuzu invisible to my neighbours and the people passing by.

It was evening by the time they'd worn each other out, the streets were empty, and Kakuzu and Hidan had collapsed on the grass. I shouted down at them "Super-Calla-Fraja-Listic-Ecspealli-Docious!", and they poofed back into plushies, along with the rest of the Akatsuki.

After running outside to get Hidan and Kakuzu (dragging Kakuzu behind me with a loose thread), I collected the Akatsuki and sat them in a row on the sofa, "Right then, I hope you can hear me 'cause it'd be annoying to have to say this again!" I told them, "I know you're all scary S-Class criminals and all, but this is my house, so I'm going to lay down some rules, and if you don't obey them, I swear I'll describe every yaoi lemon I've ever read about the Akatsuki! Rule no.1, no destroying my house! no.2, no blood, if you get blood anywhere, you'll have to clean it up! no.3, if you have to fight, do it outside and make sure there's a genjutsu hiding you from normal people! no.4, umm, well, I think of the rest later!", I finished, and glared at them all. Then I noticed that Hidan and Kakuzu were covered in dirt, "Ugh, once they turn back, there'll be mud everywhere, hmm, well, I was gonna take a shower anyway, I'll just use the other bathroom" I said to myself, picking them up and walking towards the main bathroom.

I walked into the bathroom, and threw them into the washing machine **(You thought something **_**else**_** was gonna happen, didn't ya! X3)**

I set it to wash and then dry, and turned it on, I waved at them cheekily as they started to spin and then got into the shower, pulling the curtain across and throwing my pyjamas over the top.

* * *

I walked back to the bathroom at around 7pm, hair brushed and blow-dried, wearing my new Akatsuki cloud print pyjamas. The washing machine had finished and the Zombie Twins were nice and clean, yay!

I carried them back to the rest of the Akatsuki, still where I'd left them earlier, and tidied up the wrapping paper and hiding my presents in my room. Then I picked up all the Akatsuki except Tobi/Madara, and hugged, there was a poof, and I was surrounded by white smoke, and then nine Akatsuki members. Hidan and Kakuzu looked pissed, Deidara looked bored, Itachi just stood there and the rest were emotionless. Of course I could understand why they were pissed, after all I chucked them in a machine that spun them round and round AND was full of water and soap, very nice-smelling soap, I might add. Kakuzu glared at me, and I glared right back, you could feel the electricity between our eyes, then I held up a few coins, and flicked them behind me, Kakuzu broke eye contact, and 'hn'ed as if it wasn't worth his time, before walking past me, I held up a victory sign, and despite being pissed, Hidan laughed. I grinned back at him, and then someone grasped my shoulders from behind, these hands felt hard, I looked up into ashen-grey eyes and red hair. He looked down at me, expressionless, "Yes?", I said, he didn't move, I sighed, "Geez, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you were a statue", Deidara sniggered, Sasori did a surprising thing then, he wrapped his arms around me and brought his head to rest on my shoulder, I blushed, "Close enough", he murmured, closing his eyes, I blushed darker, and he pulled me close, I could feel his wooden chest and his heart through the fabric of his cloak, his heart felt warm. The atmosphere was almost romantic. And then he spun me around so that I was facing his chest, and my arms wrapped around him, _'Eh? I didn't do that!'_, I thought, and tried to move away, but my arms wouldn't respond, my surprised expression and blush faded into an annoyed expression as I realised, "Puppet Master technique", I said, "Mm-hmm" he said into my shoulder, but I just felt uncomfortable because the atmosphere had faded. I sighed "Gimme my arms back", "No, feels nice" he replied, the blush returned, "Hey, Danna, un! Don't hog her, un!" and Sasori smiled, ever so slightly, "Mine" he replied, "Eh?" I said, my face growing redder and redder, "But Sasori-no-dannaaaa!" Deidara complained, I giggled, "Lemme go or else" I said, but Sasori just pulled me closer, "Or else what?" he said into my ear, blowing slightly, I blushed again, but I smirked, "Do you prefer SasoDei, or SasoHida?" I asked innocently, he cringed and released my arms, stepping back. I held up my victory sign again, though this time in front of Sasori's face, "Ownage!" I said triumphantly, "I see my theory has been proven" he replied, "Eh?" I asked, confused, "I took note of how you used a kiss to make Deidara release you, and I wanted to see if you produced the same reaction", he continued, and began to walk away, "It was an experiment?!!!", Sasori turned and nodded, "But it did feel nice", I blushed again, Sasori continued walking away, "Proven twice" he said, I shook my head to clear it, "H-Hey! Stop that!" I said, embarrassed. I went to sit on the sofa between Deidara and Hidan, but I was pulled onto a lap as I sat down, "Will you guys stop it!" I yelled, trying to wriggle out of a firm grip around my waist, "No, Danna had you all to himself, un!" said my blonde captor, "B-But that was just to prove a theory!" I spluttered, and Deidara let go, although not of his own will, "Hey! Danna!", I giggled and jumped out of his lap, backing away so he couldn't grab me again, bumping into someone. I turned to see Itachi, holding a large piece of paper, "Hn" he said and walked over to Pein, and gave him the piece of paper, _'Now that I think about it, where'd he get that?'_, "Hey, where'd you get that?" I asked curiously, Itachi pointed towards my room, "But I locked it, didn't I?" I said to myself, "A lock isn't going to keep me out" Itachi said, _'Damn ninja skills'_, Pein stood up from the chair he'd previously been lounging in, "Meeting", he murmured, and the rest of the Akatsuki walked over without complaint...except Hidan...

I followed, squeezing myself between Konan and Kisame, Pein revealed the piece of paper, which turned out to be...dun dun duuun, the 'Awesome Akatsuki Guys list' I'd made and blue-tacked to my wall.

_Awesome Akatsuki Guys list of Aiko Death!_

_1. Deidara + Hidan (wuv them + HAWT!!!)_

_2. Itachi (red eyes! Eep!)_

_3. Sasori (cute!)_

_4. Kisame (funny, but...half fish?!)_

_5. Kakuzu (lol, tentacles)_

_6. Pein (badass, but too many piercings!)_

_7. Zetsu (risk of being eaten, _

_8. Tobi (ANNOYING!!!)_

There were doodles of chibi versions of each of the Akatsuki guys in the remaining space on the poster, and there was a border of Akatsuki clouds around the edge, I decided to slip away and hide in the kitchen before they finished reading it, turning the kettle on and taking out a cup of instant ramen/Pot Noodle, awaiting my doom!

* * *

**A/N: Phew! I finally finished it!!!! 3,947 words this time, wow! I've really out done myself! I would've updated sooner but my teachers decide NOW to give me tons of homework, and I had hardly any time to write!!! And the best bit is...it's not finished!!!! But I think this is more than enough to keep you going for the time being, so stay tuned and wait for the rest of ch.3 pleez!!!!! As always, keep reviewing, I luv ya for it! I hope you liked it!!!! Remember, reviews = updates!!!! lol, Ja, ne!**


	4. Chapter 3, Part 2: Pervy Jashinist!

**A/N: Note to self, never look at the Story Traffic page whilst eating! I nearly died, I knew you guys liked it but WOW!!! There's people from the USA, UK, Canada, Australia, Denmark, Argentina, Mexico, Italy, Ireland, Brazil, France, Germany and Trinidad, I hadn't even heard of Trinidad until now!!! MoriOokami, I know that updates make you happy but there's no need to give yourself brain damage, lol!!! You know what's funny, when you have an argument with yourself and then you _lose_!!! Enjoy Part 2 of Ch.3! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Akatsuki or Pot Noodle (why do we do this, I mean, it's called fanfiction.net for a _reason!)_**

* * *

I was sitting on the surface, next to the sink, contemplating on whether or not to hide in the cupboards, and if found, claim to be looking for cereal. The kettle finished boiling and I poured the water into my Pot Noodle, grabbing a fork from the drawer. I opened the door a bit and looked into the lounge, I couldn't see anyone. Frowning, I walked out of the kitchen and looked around, _'Huh? Where'd they go?'_, my suspicions were immediately aroused, and I searched for any pieces of furniture that hadn't been there before, as well as listening for footsteps sneaking up on me, even Tobi/Madara was gone.

Then I heard a shout coming from my room, _'Oh hell no!'_, I thought and sprinted into my room, somehow managing not to spill any Pot Noodle, the Akatsuki were in my room, bent over my computer, which I faintly recalled having left on a page.

It took a few seconds for me to process this, 3, 2, 1......."AAAHH! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!!!", I yelled, putting my Pot Noodle on my bedside table and diving to cover the computer screen, stopping in mid-air behind them?!

I froze in confusion, and then noticed the chakra strings and black threads supporting me, "Hey let me down!!!!", nothing...

Deidara leant forward, "Click on 'My Stories', un", and Pein, who was sitting in the computer chair, clicked the mouse, "AH!! No, don't look, please!!!!" I pleaded, getting no response.

My stories consisted of yaoi and AkatsukixOC, most rated M, and my profile picture was one of some of the Akatsuki shirtless that I'd found on deviantART **(this picture actually exists!)**!

They were ignoring me, so I tried using my ultimate tactic, "RAPE!" I yelled...nothing happened, even though Kakuzu's tentacles were wrapped around my thighs, waist, wrists and shoulders. I growled in frustration, "Believe me, you really don't want to read some of that! There's yaoi!" I said, and Kisame looked up, "Then we'll avoid the ones that say 'yaoi' in the summaries", he flashed a shark-like grin at me, I stuck out my tongue, he chuckled and looked back to the screen. Then after a few clicks, Hidan yelled and jumped back, "That's gross, what the fuck!", he glared at me, "Which one was it?" I asked, and I was lowered to the ground, I squeezed through and was finally able to see the screen.

It was a KakuHida story I'd done with Hidan as the uke, normally I made him the seme but I'd had this random idea while re-watching the Hidan and Kakuzu arc.

I giggled, and then I was dragged out by Kakuzu's threads and held up against the wall, eye level with Kakuzu, who was livid, "heheh" I laughed nervously, and then Hidan came up behind him, I was frightened, they could be quite scary when they wanted to be, and they knew it.

I gulped, they glared, Hidan gripped his scythe, "W-wait a second! Y-you're m-meant to b-be f-fictional ch-characters! A-and people have i-imaginations, y-y'know!", Hidan gave me a 'wtf' look, but didn't let go of his scythe. I felt tentacles creeping around my throat, I closed my eyes in terror, "Kakuzu, Hidan, don't kill her" said Pein, and I felt the threads release me and I slid down the wall, breathing heavily, Tobi/Madara came up to us, "Why'd you do that senpai?!" he asked, "Hn, you don't want to know" said Kakuzu and strolled past him, I grabbed Tobi/Madara's collar and brought his face up to mine, "Get them away from that" I demanded quietly, and he nodded, tapping Pein on the shoulder, they exchanged glances.

Pein stood up and left, followed by the rest of the Akatsuki, Konan pinching her nose, her eyes met mine and she stifled a giggle, turning it into clearing her throat.

I walked up to my computer and looked through my history, they hadn't read much, I sighed in relief, and I shut-down my computer.

I looked at my alarm clock, 22:03 blinked at me, I yawned and carried my Pot Noodle into the lounge. The sofa was occupied, so I sank into a pouffe to eat my noodles. When I was finished I put the empty pot in the kitchen, then went back into the lounge and cleared my throat, they looked at me, "I'm tired, so I'll forgive you for invading my secret base without permission, but I have to turn you back into plushies now", almost immediately a hand covered my mouth, it was Pein, _'When did he get behind me?!'_, his ringed eyes looked into mine, "No" he said, emotionless, I held my hand up in defeat, he let go, "Then you'd better give me a very good reason why I shouldn't", I retorted, folding my arms.

Sasori made space on the sofa, and patted the spot next to him, "Uh-uh, I'm not falling for that again!" I said, but I began walking towards him, "Stop doing that Jashin-dammit!", Hidan looked at me, confused, but I didn't notice because I was now sitting next to Sasori, and he was playing with my hair, I was blushing and I knew exactly what he was doing. Deidara and Hidan were sniggering at my predicament, the rest just stared, "Sasori, what on earth are you doing?!" Kakuzu asked, bewildered, Hidan whispered in his ear, Kakuzu nodded, a smirk forming under his mask.

I blushed deeper as Sasori pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around me, I shivered when he nibbled on my ear. I couldn't move, and I was blushing with anger and embarrassment, but I couldn't speak, I pretended to go limp and Sasori smirked, he released the chakra threads and spun me around so that I was now facing him.

He leant forwards and his lips were about to make contact with mine, when a fist smashed into his face, "Ow! Your face is hard" I said after jumping away, cradling my hand, Sasori frowned and I stuck my tongue out at him. Deidara and Hidan were laughing silently at Sasori's failed attempt, and even Kakuzu hid his laughter in a cough.

I yawned and rubbed one eye, and was knocked to the floor in a bear-hug from Tobi, "Aiko-chan looked so cute! Tobi had to give her a hug!". We'd landed in front of Kisame, I was on my stomach, Tobi/Madara on top, I looked up at Kisame, my face saying 'help me!', Kisame pointed at Tobi, "Tobi, get off Aiko-san! Go, mate elsewhere!" he said, and I burst out laughing, Tobi/Madara got off and they gathered around me, staring, I was clutching my sides laughing, eventually I was able to get up and I ran off, bringing back a picture I'd found on Flickr and printed out. I handed it to Kisame and he started laughing, and then the picture was passed around, earning laughter and grimaces. I giggled, "The funny thing is, I didn't make that!" I said, and yawned again, Tobi prepared to spring, "NO HUG!" I yelled, raising my arms in defence, Tobi's arms dropped to his sides, and lowered his head, crestfallen. I had to stop myself from laughing out loud, it was hard to believe that he was the same man who'd threatened me and almost killed me this morning.

I yawned and my eyelids felt heavy, "OK, I give up, you can stay human tonight, but don't kill anybody, no blood spillage, don't destroy my house, don't kill me in my sleep, or go into my room at all, if you don't do as I say, yaoi is the consequence" I finished, and walked off to my room, turning the lights off on the way. I locked my door and jumped into bed, snuggling into my duvet, "What a crazy Christmas Day", I contemplated before falling asleep.

* * *

BEEP!

BEEP!

BEEP!

BEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee-CRASH!

I shivered and wriggled under the warm covers, but something felt strange. I sat up and looked down, my pyjama top was missing.....................3, 2, 1...........

"KYAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed, and cast about for my pyjama top, it was hanging on my bedpost with a post-it note stuck to it. I grabbed my pyjama top and pulled it on, blushing furiously, and ripped off the post-it note, it said;

_You're a fuckin' heavy sleeper!_

_But they aren't bloody bad!_

There was a Jashinism symbol scrawled underneath, and I knew full well what he meant by 'they', and swore to kill Hidan as soon as I lay my hands on him, _'That bloody pervert!!!'_, I thought, and I blushed deeper, "HIDAAAAAAAAN!!!!!!!!" I yelled, and laughter came from the other side of the wall, _'AND he's been listening!!!! Why I oughta...!'_, my face blushed another shade deeper and my hands balled into fists.

I stomped over to the door and threw it open, Hidan was sitting against the wall, grinning. I grabbed his collar and hauled him to his feet, "You, you bastard!" I yelled, Hidan chuckled, "What ever did I do?" he asked sarcastically, a smirk plastered onto his face. A second later there was a bright red hand mark on his cheek and I was stomping off to my room, face blushing like mad, "It was fuckin' worth it!" Hidan said back at me, rubbing his cheek, "SCREW YOU!!!" I yelled, slamming my bedroom and locking it again, how he managed to open my door without breaking the lock amazes me.

Unfortunately for the alarm clock, I decided to take out my anger on it, kicking it into the opposite wall, where it completely smashed. Anger subsided, I started getting dressed.

* * *

I was in the kitchen, pouring milk into a bowl of cereal, humming 'Bad Boy' by Cascada, tapping my foot to the rhythm. I decided to eat my breakfast in the safety if the kitchen, where it was unlikely to see any annoying bastards, (cough) Hidan (cough)! Thankfully I've been pretty much left alone this morning, I haven't been hung upside down, tripped up OR slung over someone's shoulder, even Tobi left me alone! It might have been the menacing aura that rolled off me in waves...

I finished the cereal and decided I needed toast and chocolate spread, making an extra piece in case one was stolen. I walked into the lounge and plonked myself onto the middle of the sofa, munching my toast.

Hidan came into the room, I sent him my evillest death glare, he grinned, I ignored him and went back to munching my toast. He sat down next to me, I slid to the opposite end of the sofa, he followed, I stood up and sank into a pouffe at the other end of the room, he pouted. It was so cute but I was still mad at him...

Kisame looked from me, to Hidan, and back again, raising an eyebrow questioningly, "Hidan did something" he concluded, "No shit, Sherlock" I said. Awkward silence followed, _'Great, all we need now is some tumbleweed!'_, I thought. I glared at Hidan, he stared right back, a stupid grin on his face, I didn't break eye-contact, all the while glaring at the perverted Jashinist.

The room was silent now as the rest of Akatsuki watched our glaring contest, it felt like a scene in a cowboy film, y'know when they stand there, and there's tumbleweed, and their fingers wiggle, and then they whip their guns out and shoot! Although there weren't any guns or tumbleweed, I had a plastic plate, but that's not going to be of any help to me against a three-bladed scythe.

Eventually, Hidan blinked, I jumped up and pointed at him, "AHA! I win!", and sat back down on my pouffe...into someone's lap! I tried getting up again, but hands wrapped around me and pulled me close. I growled, "Jashin-dammit! Who is it this time?!" I said, annoyed, looking back to see the Jashinist himself, I gasped and looked back at the sofa, there was no-one there, "Fast" I murmured.

I was sitting between Hidan's legs, my back pressed up against his _very_ nice chest, making me blush, and his muscular arms were wrapped around my shoulders, my blush darkened. It was pointless trying to escape so I tried to distract myself by picking up a piece of chocolate spread-covered-toast and putting it into my mouth. I finished my last piece of toast and started sucking the chocolate off my fingers slowly. I felt several eyes staring at me from across the room, so I looked up to see four Akatsuki staring at me. Kisame gulped, Deidara was drooling slightly, Itachi was wide-eyed and Kakuzu's mask had a damp patch below his nose. I blushed again and looked away, then a hand pulled my face up and I was looking into violet eyes, Hidan's eyes were deep pools of passion, they were chaotic, entrancing. I could only stare into purple fire as he leant forward, and licked a smear of chocolate spread ever so slowly from the corner of my mouth. The tip of his tongue touched my lips and my blush darkened, he pulled back saying, "You're cute when you blush" making me blush all the more. He released my face, caressing my cheek as he did so, and I remembered those watching. I looked back at them, now they looked almost as if they were _jealous_, and I smirked, "Aww, are you jealous of little old me?" I teased, and they frowned in disgust at what I was implying and went about their businesses. I giggled, Hidan's arms wrapped around my waist, it felt so comfortable, and warm to be sitting in Hidan's arms, and I felt myself getting drowsy, Hidan whispered into my ear, "D'you forgive me, then?", I sighed contentedly, "Yes" I whispered back and snuggled into his chest, drifting off to sleep.

* * *

**A/N: Aww, I loved writing this! Kakuzu had a nosebleed for those who didn't guess it! ^^ **

**As always, tell me what you think and click the green button! The shiny, shiny green button, calling out to you! Lolz, reviews = updates!**


	5. Fever

**A/N: Why hello again! Some people were asking why Aiko forgave Hidan so quickly! Please remember that she's a Hidan fangirl, and therefore turns to mush in his arms. I love embarrassing her! It's fun!!! Thank you to all those who reviewed, Story Alerted and other stuff!!! Anyway, I hope you'll like this chapter! Let's get on with it!!!**

**Disclaimer: Naruto and Tik Tok are mine, and so is the world! MUAHAHAA, bow down to me!!!**

**Please read the lyrics...**

**(meh) **= A/N

* * *

I was lost in a comfy and warm feeling, I didn't want to wake up, I rubbed against the warm and firm surface I was lying on, said surface stiffened. I half opened one eye curiously, seeing a black cloak, and remembered where I'd fallen asleep. I opened both eyes and blushed, while I'd been asleep I'd shifted my position. My arms were wrapped around him, squishing my chest to him and I was lying on top of him, legs between his. I looked up sleepily and Hidan was clutching his nose, he looked down and grinned, I blushed and sat up. I slid onto the floor and looked around, the rest of the Akatsuki were going about their businesses, Deidara, Kisame, Itachi and Kakuzu were sitting on the sofa opposite, staring. I blushed again and stood up, Hidan got to his feet and grabbed the tissue box, pressing a few tissues to his face, which were quickly soaked red. I widened my eyes in surprise, "Eh? What happened, did I punch you in my sleep or something?" I asked, the Akatsuki on the sofa started laughing "What?" I asked, completely confused. Itachi was the most composed, "He's having a nosebleed", he stated, "Why?" I asked, "Because you kept fucking pressing your breasts against me!" Hidan yelled, I turned to see a heavily blushing Hidan, arms folded. My blush intensified tenfold, "Oh" I said in a small voice, Hidan grinned and I was ambushed from behind, "EEP!" I squeaked as I was swung into Kisame's arms, bridal style, he grinned, I blushed, I did that a lot lately. Kisame smirked, "But that's not all she did, right Hidan?", he looked over at Hidan, who's eyes widened and he clutched his nose again.

I struggled, trying to squirm my way out of Kisame's arms, when threads coiled around my wrists, ankles and waist and lifted me into the air, carrying me to Kakuzu. He set me on my feet for once, but didn't release me, "Thanks..." I said, the threads stayed where they were, I waited, nothing happened. An awkward silence followed, I avoided his intense gaze by looking sideways, but I could still feel his eyes boring a hole into my forehead, I began to blush. Eventually I looked around at Deidara pleadingly, and he came to my rescue. Deidara tapped Kakuzu on the shoulder, he blinked and the threads slid away. I sighed in relief and went off to my room, locking the door behind me.

I rummaged around under my bed for my iPod Nano, it was black, and there were only 68 songs on it, and I love it! There was an Akatsuki cloud sticker on the back, and I had black in-the-ear headphones. I plugged them into my ears and selected 'Tik Tok' by Ke$ha, I started singing along and I got onto my bed to jump around like a mad person,

_  
Wake up in the morning feeling like P Diddy  
Put my glasses on, I'm out the door  
I'm gonna hit this city  
Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack  
Cause when I leave for the night, I ain't coming back  
I'm talking **"**_**da da da da da"**_toes toes  
Trying on all our clothes, clothes  
Boys blowing up our phones, phones  
**"**_**Da da da da"**_, playing our favourite CDs  
Pulling up to the parties  
Trying to get a little bit tipsy~_

Don't stop, make it pop  
DJ, blow my speakers up  
Tonight, Imma fight  
Till we see the sunlight  
Tick tock, on the clock  
But the party don't stop, no  
Woah-oh oh oh~  
Woah-oh oh oh~

Ain't got a care in world, but got plenty of beer  
Ain't got no money in my pocket, but I'm already here  
**"I can't remember the lyrics but I couldn't care less"**_**  
**_**"Somethin'"**,_ kick 'em to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger  
I'm talking about - everybody getting crunk, crunk  
Boys trying to touch my junk, junk  
Gonna smack him if he getting too drunk, drunk  
Now, now - we goin' till they kick us out, out  
Or the police shut us down, down  
Police shut us down, down  
Po-po shut us - down~  
_

I did a little spin and lost my balance, tumbling off the bed, legs in the air. I pulled my headphones out and heard laughter. I slowly peered over the edge of my bed, to see Deidara, Hidan and Kisame laughing their asses off, _'Well gee I wonder why?'_ I thought (note my heavy sarcasm), I stood up embarrassed, and put my hands on my hips. They stopped laughing, although they were all grinning, I pointed at Hidan, "You, out!" I said, he pouted, "But-" he started, "**NOW!**" I glared at him, he raised his arms in defense, "Ok, Ok, I'm fucking going", he walked out, leaving me with Kisame and Deidara. I folded my arms, "What d'you want?" I asked, "We heard singing coming from here and decided to check it out, un" Deidara replied, I blushed, "Ack! You heard my singing!" I said, hiding my face in my hands, "It wasn't bad, though" said Kisame, I peeped through my fingers, his face was inches from mine, I squealed and jumped back, he chuckled, "Does the phrase 'Personal Space' mean anything to you people?!" I yelled, pointing at him accusingly, "There's Tobi with his weird hugs, and Sasori with his damn 'experiments' and Hidan's pervertedness and Kakuzu and his thread-thingys, and ah, ah, ACHOO!!!" I sneezed violently, losing my balance. Suddenly Deidara was there and he caught me before I fell over. I stood up and the world swayed giddily, I fell back into Deidara's arms before fainting.

* * *

When I came to, I was lying on my bed and there was a cold hand on my forehead, I groaned and opened my eyes. The Akatsuki had crowded into my room, Hidan was sitting backwards on my computer chair, arms folded over the back, Kisame's hand was on my forehead, Deidara was sitting cross-legged at the end of my bed, Kakuzu was leaning against the wall, Itachi was standing next to my bed, Sasori was standing on the opposite side, Tobi/Madara was sitting on the floor, Pein and Konan were standing by the door and Zetsu's head was poking out of the ceiling. I tried to sit up but was pushed back down again, **"...But why can't we just eat her now? **Because Leader-sama told us not to, **But she looks so tasty! **Put up with it! **No! **Why not?! **Because...err...** Exactly. **Screw ****you! **No. **Grr! **Grr! **Grr!** Tsk, you're so immature! **You're so immature! **No, you are! **No, you are! **Stop it! **Stop it! **Stop copying me! **Stop copying me!** I hate you! **I hate you! **I'm gay! **Good for you!"**, the scary, man-eating plant-man's conversation with himself was too hilarious, and I burst out laughing, ending in coughing.  
Tobi/Madara got up and leant over my bed, "Is Aiko-chan okay?!" he asked in a fake panicky voice, I rolled my eyes and feebly tried to push his face away, I might as well have tried pushing a rock with a flower, I was so weak, "What's wrong with me?" I asked, "You've got a fever", said Itachi, my gaze turned to Hidan and materialized into a glare, "Bastard" I said, Hidan raised an eyebrow, "It's not my fucking fault you're sick!" he said defensively, "NOOOO!!! Aiko-chan's sick?! She's gonna DIEEEEEE!!!!!!" yelled Tobi, he grabbed my shoulders, "Don't go into the light Aiko-chan!!!" he yelled, "Get off! I'm not dying!!!" I said, and Tobi was hauled off. I coughed again, and resumed my glaring at Hidan, "Oh and I suppose that the fact _someone_ stole my top last night has absolutely _nothing_ to do with it!" I said sarcastically, all heads turned to Hidan, who looked like he was thinking, 'oh shit', "Someone hit him for me" I said, Kakuzu willingly obliged, his forearm disconnecting and his fist coming into contact with Hidan's face, hard. Hidan yelled and rubbed his cheek, "Ouch, dammit! That fucking hurt!", a wave of dizziness hit me, and I groaned, Kisame's hand was replaced by a damp cloth, it felt nice.  
I sighed, "Open the drawer, please" I said, and Kisame did so, raising an eyebrow at the many alarm clocks and picking one up. He closed the drawer and placed the clock in my line of vision, "Thanks" I said, and Kisame grinned, _'Does he ever stop grinning?!'_ I thought, glancing at the time, it was 17:18, I hadn't had anything since breakfast, my stomach growled, and as if on cue, Konan walked up with a bowl of soup. She put it on my bedside table and helped me sit up, "How did you know how to make it?" I asked, she held up an empty can of Chicken Soup, "There were instructions written on this" she answered with the smallest of smiles, and lifted the spoon up to my mouth, "I can feed myself, y'know!" I protested, Konan looked at me doubtfully, "Fine" I said, "You give up really easily" she said, "I'm too lazy to let things annoy me for too long" I replied, and let her feed me a spoonful, she was about to feed me another one when, "I'll do it, un", said Deidara, "Huh?" I asked dumbly, "I'll feed her, un" he said, I blushed, the thought of the person who I considered to be one of the hottest out of all the Akatsuki feeding me sent my mind whirling, one of my much-longed-for fantasies was coming true!  
Deidara sat close beside me on my bed and took the bowl and spoon from Konan, who followed Pein out of the room. Zetsu disappeared into the ceiling and Sasori, Kisame, Itachi and Kakuzu left as well, dragging Tobi/Madara behind them, leaving me alone with Deidara and Hidan, who was currently spinning around on my computer chair, "You break that and I'll sew your butt to Kakuzu's ass!" I said warningly, he stopped spinning and pouted, taking Deidara's previous place at the end of my bed, cross-legged. Deidara dipped the spoon into the soup, "Say Aaahhh, un" he said, and I did so, blushing.  
I completely forgot about Hidan and let Deidara feed me until there was none left, Deidara was close, definitely invading my personal space but I was overcome by my fangirl instincts, his face was inches away, and I was blushing at the intimacy. When I'd finished the soup, he brushed a small lock of hair from my face and stroked my cheek with his finger, I blushed deeper, "Are you okay, you've gone all red, un" he teased with a smirk, and he cupped my cheek in his palm, I leant into his touch, his cool skin felt nice against my heated face, and then I felt something licking my cheek. My eyes widened in surprise and Deidara smirked again, _'Kami, he's sexy when he does that!'_, I thought, and my ears turned pink, his thumb ever-so-slowly stroked my cheek, and then over my lips, back and forth.  
I felt hot as he leant closer and closer, "Y-you'll, c-catch m-my...my fever if..." I trailed off, he stopped, "Well, that's annoying, un" he said, and kissed my cheek. His tongue resumed licking and Deidara trailed his hand down my neck, his hand mouth kissing and sucking on my skin, although not hard enough to leave a mark. His head moved down the opposite side and started doing the same thing as his hand-mouth, I let out a small gasp of pleasure and I felt Deidara smirk into my neck, "Oi, I'm still fucking here, y'know!", and I remembered about Hidan.  
Deidara pulled away, blushing slightly, my face was burning, "Hidan, tell anyone and I'll sew your head to Kakuzu's crotch!" I threatened, "That's fucking _nasty!_" he protested,"Don't tell anyone then" I replied, "Ok, Ok, I won't tell!" he replied, irritated, "Swear to Jashin!" I said, "What!" he whined, "Swear to Jashin that you won't tell a soul!" I insisted, "Or I'll get out the needle and thread!" I added, "Alright, alright! I swear to Jashin-sama that I will not tell a soul about Deidara pleasuring Aiko! There, you happy?!" he finished, "H-he wasn't pleasuring me!" I spluttered, "That's what it bloody looked like!" Hidan retorted, I gave up and lay down. The damp cloth was dabbed at my cheeks and forehead, effectively cooling me down, I sighed contentedly and closed my eyes.

Someone pinched my cheek, waking me up, "Ow", I said, and rubbed my cheek, pouting at the offender, which happened to be Kakuzu. Suddenly I was being squished to death in one of Tobi's hugs, "Oof!", he rubbed his face against my cheek, "Aiko-chan is so cute when she pouts!" he said, I blushed and tried to push him away, failing. So I elbowed him in the stomach as hard as possible, he let go and I was able to breathe again. I propped myself up on my elbows, "So, why'd you wake me up?", I asked, "For Hidan to apologize" said Konan, "Why would you care if Hidan apologized? You're way stronger than me so it's not as if insulting me would result in death or anything! Hell, if you wanted to kill me, it'd be easy! I hope you don't want to do that 'cause I'd like to keep my life!" I finished, the Akatsuki were staring at me, wide-eyed, "It would?" said Kisame dumbly, "Yeah...please don't, though" I replied, "Are you saying that you don't even have chakra?!" said Pein, surprised. I raised an eyebrow in confusion, "Well, duh" I replied, Pein frowned, "It seems we must discuss this matter further" he told Konan, who nodded, "Woah woah woah, wait a second, let me get this straight, you thought I was some extremely powerful person?!" I asked, still slightly confused, "Yes" said Zetsu, "But can't you sense chakra or something?", Pein turned towards me, "We came to the conclusion that you were simply concealing it" he said formally, "But wouldn't I have told you if I was some awesome, kick-ass powerful person! If I was I'd have made you into my slaves or something by now with plans to become Supreme Ruler of the World! MUAHAHAHAHAHAAA!", I subconsciously added on the evil laugh, and Deidara looked at me as if I was crazy, "We figured you'd tell us when you wanted to, un" he replied, "Oh" I said, I'd run out of questions.  
**"See, I told you! Now can we eat her?!"**, Zetsu asked Pein, who shook his head, **"But why?! **Because Leader-sama told us not to. **Not this shit again!** No. **Pleeease!** No. **'You're no fun!'**", I giggled, "We still need her to be able to figure out what's going on" Pein answered, my curiosity was aroused, "To figure out what?" I asked, "How we fucking got here! Dumbass!" said Hidan, trying and failing to pull himself out of the headlock Kakuzu had imprisoned him in, "For Jashin's sake! Lemme go!" he yelled at Kakuzu, "Unfortunately I don't believe in Jashin, so that phrase has absolutely no effect on me" he replied curtly, Hidan growled, "Was that meant to be scary?" said Kakuzu. I sat up fully and a wave of dizziness swept over me, I groaned and lay back down, head throbbing. I rubbed my temples trying to soothe the sudden headache, _'Where the hell did that come from, Jashin-dammit!'_, I rubbed my forehead again, "You shouldn't move too much until you've recovered, or else you'll just end up making your condition worse" said Kakuzu, I gave him a thumbs-up with one hand. Hidan was cursing Kakuzu every swear word under the sun, still trying to wriggle out of the headlock, still failing, "Does anyone know a jutsu or something that'll get rid of this headache?!" I asked, my head hurt so badly I had to grit my teeth to stop myself from squealing in pain. Kakuzu released Hidan and walked over, he put his hand over my forehead and I saw a green light, then the pain started to fade and I relaxed.

I propped myself up on my elbow again, "So, why are you all here again?", Hidan rolled his eyes, "Do you have fucking brain damage?!", "Do you _have_ to add a swearword to each sentence?!" I retorted, "Yes I fucking do!" he yelled, and was swiftly put back into a headlock, "Jashin-dammit! Stop fucking doing that!", I giggled, "You can let him go now", Kakuzu looked at me, "I'm not doing this for your benefit, it amuses me" he replied, I burst out laughing, and started coughing again. Pein sat down on my computer chair, "We need to decide the best course of action that will help Aiko-san to recover as quickly as possible" he said, "Well, there's some medicine in the cabinet behind the mirror in my bathroom, and I'd be better by tomorrow morning if I had a hot-water bottle, but my last one died" I said, "Konan, go get the medicine" Pein ordered, Konan nodded and walked into my bathroom, "We shall have to think of something to use as a hot water bottle" he continued. The small part of my brain that actually made sense activated, "I suppose if we used extra blankets it would work, although extra body heat would be better...", I realised what I'd just said, "AAH! I mean, um, err..." I dribbled off pathetically. Pein nodded, ignoring my attempts to take back my words, "Then one of us will supplement the hot water bottle" he said, looking around at the other members, "We should choose the person with the most amount of body heat" he continued, and pointed to Kisame, "Me?" he asked, and his cheeks turned slightly purple **(blue + red/blush = purple, yay!)**.Konan returned with the medicine and put it on my bedside table.  
I waved my arms about "B-b-but w-wouldn't K-Konan be b-b-better 'cause she's a g-g-girl?!" I stuttered, my face red as a cherry, "You fucking said yourself that the most bloody body heat would be better" said Hidan, smirking, "Although I wouldn't fucking mind doing it instead of the fish-man", he winked. I blushed, "No. Fucking. Way" I said, "You, are going to be plushie", Hidan scowled, "No fucking way, bitch!" he retorted, "Needle and thread" I replied, Deidara chuckled, but the rest just gave me funny looks, and when Hidan raised his arms and "Ok, ok", they stared at him, then at me, then back again, "Are you sure you don't have any powers?" asked Kisame, "Yes, I'm just very good with threats" I answered.  
I yawned and looked at the time, 21:47, "Well, since it's nearly 10, I'll be going to sleep now, and I'm sorry but I'm gonna have to turn you into plushies" I said, "But Tobi doesn't want to be a dolly!" said the human lollipop, "Well tough!!!" I yelled, "You're too annoying!" and Tobi pretended to cry, I pointed at him and yelled "Super-Calla-Fraja-Listic-Ecspealli-Docious!" and there was a 'poof' and a cloud of steam and Tobi was a plushie. I folded my arms, "Thank Jashin for that!" and sighed, _'Wait a sec, I didn't hear any other 'poof's!'_, I looked up, they were still human, "Huh?" I said, "How come you didn't change too?", Deidara shrugged, "Do it again" said Pein, "Ok" I pointed at Zetsu, **"Why me?!"** he complained, "'Cause! Super-Calla-Fraja-Listic-Ecspealli-Docious!", and there was another 'poof', and a Zetsu plushie fell from the ceiling, landing on my bed, "Wow, that's awesome!" I said, and blew on my finger, like cowboys did with their guns after shooting.  
Hidan bent down and reached under my bed, "What're you doing?" I asked, he stood up with three sketchbooks in his hand, "What the fuck are these?" he asked, and started to open one, "ARGH! NO!!!" I screamed, "Why the hell not?!", I pointed at him, "Don't. You. Dare!" I replied, he smirked and dived behind the foot-board **(the bit of wood at the other end of the bed, there's a head-board, so the other end must be the foot-board)**, "NO! Come back 'ere!" I yelled, and coughed. A wolf whistle came from behind the foot-board, and the sketchbook was lifted open on a page where I'd done the Akatsuki in Sexy no Jutsu, "Who the fuck are these babes?" said Hidan from behind the cover of the foot-board, I laughed, "They're you!" I replied, "I fail to see how!" said Kakuzu, completely confused, "Well, there's this jutsu Naruto invented where it turns the user into a naked woman, it's called Sexy no Jutsu, and hey, I was bored", I laughed again, "So you just wolf-whistled at a bunch of guys!" I collapsed into a fit of giggles, "That's fucking wrong!" said Hidan, and the sketchbook was thrown onto my bed, "Hey! Be careful with that, they contain some of my best pictures!" I cradled my sketchbook and flicked through, making sure the pages weren't bent or folded, unconsciously lingering on a picture of Deidara and Hidan, back to back, shirtless. It was something I considered to be my greatest work, it had taken me _days_ to do it, and I coloured it in too, it was droolworthy, they both had a seductive smirk on their faces and their pants were slightly low, exposing their hips. I sighed happily, and then the sketchbook was pulled out of my hands, "Eh?" I said and looked up at Kisame, who was looking at the picture with an eyebrow raised, he laughed and grinned, then gave the sketchbook to Deidara, over my head, I tried to reach up and grab it, but he's too damn tall! Deidara blushed but laughed anyway, and then gave it to Hidan, who did the same.  
I blushed and then I suddenly felt very tired, I yawned for what seemed like hours and then rubbed an eye sleepily, Deidara and Hidan exchanged looks, and grinned. Then they enveloped me in a double hug and I blushed redder than ever before, they hugged me close until I was completely sandwiched between them, I felt a warm liquid trickle from my nose and I blushed further. Hidan saw this and pointed it out to Deidara, and they let go, smirking. Kisame gave me tissue which I took gratefully and used it to soak up the nosebleed, "Jashin-dammit will you guys stop doing that!" I said, blush refusing to fade, "I thought this could only happen to anime characters!" I said to myself, _'It must be from over-exposure of hawtness'_, I looked up at them, "Well, here's your punishment!", I glanced over at Pein, who nodded, and I said " Super-Calla-Fraja-Listic-Ecspealli-Docious!" There were many 'poofs' and I felt something land on my head, it was Kisame, I glomped him and there was yet another 'poof'.  
I told him to sit all the plushies by the foot-board and slowly went to the bathroom to change into my Akatsuki pyjamas. I felt too dizzy to walk back to bed so I yelled for Kisame to help me, and he swept me into his arms, bridal style, the blush I'd only just managed to get rid of returned, "I would _so_ complain about this but I'm too tired", I said, Kisame just grinned and carried me to my bed.  
I snuggled into the covers and the lights turned off, I felt the bed dip as Kisame got in, "Y'know, weren't you against this?" he asked, "Too tired" I replied, he chuckled, "More like too lazy", he teased, "Oh shush!" I answered. When he wrapped his arms around me I squeaked, "I'm meant to be hot water bottle, remember", and I relaxed, that's when I noticed that his arms were bare, "Where's your cloak?" I asked, "I'm not gonna sleep with my shirt on, if that's what you mean" he replied, _'KYAAAAA!!!! He's shirtless!!!'_, I blushed again.  
Kisame was huge, he was too big for my bed, so he had to curl up slightly, and I was small, his arms were too big and long, but it felt nice. There was nothing like in any of the fanfictions, where they fit perfectly against each other, like two pieces of a puzzle or any of that, but I felt ever so safe, as if nothing could ever happen to me as long as I stayed in his arms. I sighed contentedly and closed my eyes, "There goes my Boxing Day" I mumbled, and fell asleep, hearing Kisame's chuckle.

________________________________________________________________________________

**A/N: Phew! I did it, finally! Sorry it took so long, my teachers just **_**had**_** to give me tons of homework, grr!!! I hope you liked the fluff-ish bits! Pretty please review and tell me what you think! This one's longer than all the rest!!! I'm on a role!!! lolz X3**


	6. Noddy the Lion and Evil Lollipops!

**A/N: Hello again my readers! I have no excuse for the lateness other than I am very lazy, don't kill meee!!! X3 **

**But, y'know when you're lying in bed but you're not quite sleepy yet, I've been using those moments to come up with the ideas for this chapter!!! Heehee, I scared one of my friends the other day, she said something awesome that gave me inspiration for this fanfic so I jumped up and was like "THANKYOU!", she was O_O'....yea, I scare normal people...**

**Anyway, on with the show/story! **

* * *

BEEP!

BEEP!

BEEP!

BEE-click

_'BEE-click?' _I thought, _'This is not normal! Where's the 'CRASH'?!'_ I opened one eye to see...blue. I frowned, and then I felt something pulling my hair, "Hey, I kinda need my arm back now" said a definately-not-a-morning-person voice, I instinctively pretended to be asleep, "I know you're not asleep" said the voice, "Darn it" I mumbled, I sat up and pouted at Kisame for making me wake up. Kisame was looking in disgust at his forearm, "Gross! You drooled on my arm!", I rubbed the back of my head, "Hehe, sorry about that" I said, he glared at me. He got a few tissues from the tissue box and wiped his arm, grimacing, "Seriously EW!", I was blushing with embarrassment, "It's not like I did it on purpose" I muttered, looking away. Then I was tackled by Kisame, "KYAA!", I was underneath Kisame, his hands pinning my wrists either side of my head, he grinned mischievously, "You still need to be punished" he replied, and a thread of saliva began descending slowly, "No, NO! That's gross! Please don't!!!" the saliva wasn't stopping, "AAAHHH!!!! I'll do anything!!!!!" I yelled, and Kisame slurped it back up, "Ew" I said, he grinned, "Anything?" he asked, smirking. I blushed, "Umm...", the smirk widened, _'Kinda regretting saying that now'_, I gulped and then...my stomach growled, "Grrrrrrrrrr~" it said, demanding food.

Kisame got off and stood up, giving me a clear view of his oh-so-hot chest, it turns out, even blue sharkmen can be hot, who'd a thunk it!

So, while I was gawking at this amazingly toned chest, mouth open, Kisame was looking at me, growing more embarrassed with each passing second, cheeks purple again **(yay, purple)**. He glanced over at the row of plushies sitting against the foot-board, they were probably laughing their asses off, his entire face turned burgundy. He waved a hand in front of my face, bringing me back to Earth, I blinked, and blushed, realising what I'd been doing, "Hehe", I laughed nervously, and scooted backwards, subsequently falling off the edge of the bed, legs in the air...again.

I stuck a thumbs-up over the edge of my bed, "I'm ok!" I said, Kisame laughed. His laugh reminded me of a lion, it was deep, loud, and his mouth stretched wide, showing sharp teeth. I started laughing too, but because it had never really occurred to me before how it would sound like when he laughed, and it was strange that it would remind me of a lion, I mean, he's a sharkman for Jashin's sake!

My laughing subsided to embarrassed giggles as I realised Kisame had long ago stopped laughing and was now staring down at me, one eyebrow raised, "Are you ok?" he asked uneasily, as if asking a crazy person. I stuck my tongue out at him, and jumped up, suddenly full of energy, "Yep~" I replied and bounced into the living room, but Kisame called me back, I skipped back, _'Why am I so hyper?!'_ I thought, and restrained my hyperness for the moment, "Yes?" I asked, and Hidan-Plushie came flying into my face, "GAHH!" I yelled in surprise, falling on my butt, "Ow" I said, and glared at Kisame as if it was his fault, which technically, it was, "What was that for?!" I asked, Kisame shrugged, "He wants you to change him back", I blinked confusedly, "How the hell would you know?", he picked up Itachi-Plushie, "He told me" he replied, "But he's a plushie" I said, very confused now, Kisame tapped his head, "I can still hear him", I tilted my head to the side, "So...you can hear his thoughts?" I said, he nodded, "Really?" I answered doubtfully, "Really Really", he replied, and squished Itachi-Plushie in his hands, a poof later, Itachi was standing there, considerably shorter than Kisame. He was only slightly taller than me, even Konan was slightly taller. He offered his hand to me, which I took, and he pulled me up, then raised my hand to his lips, I blushed at the sudden romantic gesture, and had to shake my head to clear it, "Will you guys leave me alone for one second!" I said, pulling my hand from his grasp, and squeezed Hidan in my hands...nothing happened, "Hey, how come it's not working? it worked when Kisame did it!" I asked, "You've not got enough strength in your hands" Itachi replied, "You'll have to use most of your upper body strength in order to make the change" he continued, I threw Hidan-Plushie to Kisame, "You do it, I'm not hugging him, he'll doing something perverted!", he gave it back, "He says he'll steal Samehada if I do it", I stared at the plushie, and held it out to Itachi, "What about you?", he glanced at the plushie, paled, and shook his head, "Why? What'd he say?" Itachi shuddered, I looked at Kisame, who looked a little green, "Trust me, you don't want to know". I looked at them suspiciously, "Is he planning something?", Kisame shook his head vigorously, "No" he said too-quickly, I raised an eyebrow "Really", Kisame nodded his head very fast, reminding me of Noddy, _'Noddy the Lion!!!'_, I thought, and snorted when I tried suppressing my laughter, I eyed Hidan-Plushie suspiciously, "He's thinking of something" said Itachi, "Eh!" I glomped him before he could figure anything out, I was instantly surrounded by white smoke.

When the smoke cleared, Hidan's face was pressed into my cleavage, I'd made sure to let go immediately after the white smoke appeared, but he'd obviously had other ideas, _'Why that perverted bastard! How the hell did he come up with something so fast?!'_, I screamed and kicked Hidan as hard as possible in the stomach, wincing when my bare foot came into contact with rock-hard muscle. I settled for pinching his arm as hard as possible with my nails, he yelled and pulled back, rubbing his arm. I jumped across my bed and glared at Hidan from the safety of the other side, he prepared to pounce. I grabbed Konan-Plushie and held it in front of my face, "If you try anything else, she'll kill you" I warned, and Hidan's grin magically disappeared, he folded his arms in annoyance and sat down on the floor. I held up a small victory sign and debated on who I should change back, Konan-Plushie was a defense from Hidan, Kakuzu would hang me upside-down again, Deidara...too embarrassing, Tobi/Madara was too annoying/scary, Sasori might do another one of his 'experiments' and Zetsu might eat me! I blinked, realising that I'd moved them into a pile whilst thinking about who would be 'safe' to glomp. A blaze of orange caught my attention, Pein-Plushie was still slumped against the foot-board, I picked him up, making sure he wasn't facing me, and hugged him, there was a 'poof' and my face was pressed against something. I let go and immediately tripped over my own feet, landing on my butt, again.

I got up, ignoring what felt like a bruise forming, and brushed myself off, _'Wow, I'm really good at embarrassing myself in front of them!'_, I sighed and my stomach let out another 'Grrrrrrrrrr~', sounding almost _annoyed_ at being ignored, I laughed to myself, earning weird stares from Hidan, Kisame, Itachi and previously emotionless Pein, _'Hmm, weird...'_, I shrugged it off and went to the kitchen to make toast, only to find most of the loaf gone, "Hey! Who ate my bread?!", I yelled, gazing sadly at the basically empty bag of bread, "We needed sustenance" said a voice directly behind me, "KYAAAAAAA!!!!!", I jumped and spun around, tripping again, and started falling. I braced myself for the impact, but someone caught my shoulders from behind, I looked up, seeing the numerous piercings lining his face, "Your clumsiness amazes me, how can you trip on a flat surface?" he asked, "Believe me, I ask myself the same thing every time it happens...which is...alot..." I trailed off embarrassedly. Pein's hands were still holding onto my shoulders, and his ringed eyes were looking directly into mine, my cheeks turned slightly pink, my stomach reminded me of my mission, "Grrrrrrrrrr~!" it said, translation: "FOOD NOW!!!!", Pein released me, fingertips lingering on my shoulders for a second. I pulled out the remaining three slices of bread and popped them into the toaster, Pein stared at it while I rummaged for the Coco Pops, pulling out a bowl at the same time, I love multi-tasking.

I turned around and the toast popped, Pein jumped and whipped out a kunai from somewhere, glaring suspiciously at the toaster, I walked over to it and pulled out the toast, "Don't stick that in there, or you'll get electrocuted" I said, gesturing to his kunai and the toaster. I spread chocolate spread thickly over my toast, and made a bowl of Coco Pops, Pein stared at the fridge.

I carried my toast and cereal to the lounge, sitting at the table and started eating, Pein sat opposite me, "Where'd Hidan, Kisame and Itachi go?" I asked, "I ordered them to change the others" he replied, staring at me, I nodded, trying to ignore his eyes, I glanced at him, he was wearing a puzzled expression, "What is it?" I asked, he closed his eyes, "I was wondering how such a powerless girl would be able to summon us here. Sasori, Hidan, Kakuzu, Deidara and Itachi, they should be dead, yet they are here! A person should be unable to resurrect one person without giving their own life, never mind five! And you don't even have chakra!", Pein's voice sounded as if he was struggling to control his frustration, "But...I didn't do anything..." I said, Pein looked up, "What do you mean?" he asked, "I didn't do anything, you guys turned up at my door in a cardboard box, I don't have powers or anything like that. In this world, I'm your everyday 15 year-old girl" I finished, Pein leant onto his fist, deep in thought, _'Wow, he looks so damn hawt and badass from this perspective!'_, I thought, Pein sighed and shook his head, "Women and their fantasies" he mumbled, 3...2...1...BLUUUUUUUUUSH!!! "Please tell me you didn't do what I think you did!" I said, he looked at me "Hm? You mean read your mind?" he replied, I buried my face in my hands in a vain attempt to hide my blush _'Well that's just great! (note my heavy sarcasm) My face is going to be permanently stained pink if I blushed just a little bit more often, hell, I'll probably blush 24/7 around these guys! Why do they all have to so darn HAWT! Even Kisame! He's a fish-thingy for crying out loud!'_, the corners of Pein's mouth twitched, I didn't notice, _'...Which reminds me, is he half shark or something? Did his dad get drunk out of his mind and somehow caught a female shark and...I think I'd better stop thinking about that...'_, Pein bit the inside of his cheek, _'…or maybe NO!!! STOP THINKING ABOUT THAT!!!! So if the sharkman's sexy then what about the plantman? I wonder if he's half black half white the whole way down? GAH!!! DIRTY THOUGHTS DIRTY THOUGHTS!!!! MUST BREAK THIS HABIT!!!!'_, Pein coughed, but it sounded more like it was concealing a laugh, _'….Oh shit...he's been listening the entire time hasn't he....'_, Pein snorted and I peeked through my fingers. His hand was pressed against his mouth and he was trying not to smile, "hehe" I laughed nervously, and a snigger escaped him, he cleared his throat abruptly, stood up and headed back to my bedroom, serious expression returning.

I stared after him, _'Wow...so even the badass Rinnegan bearer has a sense of humour...'_, I shook my head and started eating my cereal, but was interrupted by someone poking my shoulder. I sighed, "If that's Hidan, go away" I said, and continued eating, "What if it's not Hidan, un" said the poker, "Deidara?" I said, and turned around, he waved and sat next to me, "How'd you guess, un?", I giggled, "'Cause you always say 'un' at the end of a sentence", Deidara looked surprised, "Really, un?", I nodded and continued munching on my Coco Pops, I could feel him watching me, but I decided to ignore it and see what happened. I glanced at him, and our eyes met, I looked away quickly automatically, "Hey, Aiko-san, un" he said quietly, I looked at him, "Hmm?", he laughed, "What?" I asked, utterly confused, he continued laughing, "What is it?" I said, he wiped away an invisible tear and his laughter turning to a small chuckle. I blinked twice, "What is it already?!", he extended a finger and tapped my bottom lip, he held up his finger, there was a stray Coco Pop on the tip, he popped it into his mouth, I blushed, he smirked. I picked the bowl up and drank the remaining milk at the bottom, then hurriedly carried it to the kitchen along with the plate and spoon.

I dumped them in the dish washer and switched it on, I was pushing the toaster to the wall when I was bowled over by Tobi/Madara and landed on the floor, "Jashin-dammit, stop doing that!" I yelled, and hit him on the head, "Or what?" taunted Madara, glaring menacingly at me with his sharingan, "Or I'll tell them all you're an evil lollipop!" I declared, and stuck my tongue out at him, he raised an eyebrow at the strangeness of my threat, well, I think he did, I wouldn't know unless he took his mask off. He let go and stood up, offering me his hand to help me up, I looked at it suspiciously before taking it, he pulled me up, and let go when I was almost standing. I fell back, grabbing his cloak in a futile attempt to remain standing, bringing him down with me, he landed on top of me, in an extremely uncomfortable position. He started to get up again, then seemed to change his mind when he noticed my this-is-embarrassing-and-awkward expression. He leant over me and placed his hands either side of my head, I could practically _feel_ his smirk behind the mask. I glared at him, "What're you doing?" I asked uneasily, Madara chuckled, "Surely you know what this means" he replied, placing his knee between my legs, I gasped and tried to get up, he pushed me back down. My eyes widened, "S-Stop it!" I gasped, I was shaking now, he lay himself completely on me, restricting my movement, he stroked my cheek, "Hmm, your face has gone awfully pale, Aiko-san, you're cuter when you blush" he said in his 'Tobi' voice, and then covered my eyes with his hand. I tried pulling his hand off at first, but he nudged my leg so I stopped, then I felt a nose brush my cheek, "Woah woah woah! You took your mask off? Lemme see!" I said, and reached for his hand again, he pulled my wrist away, "You'd better not be some wrinkly old geezer" I said, he chuckled again, "Rest assured" he said, and lifted my hand to his cheek, it was smooth. I reached my other hand up and felt his face, nose, eyes, eyebrows, ears, no wrinkles to be found, my fingertips brushed his lips and I jumped, pulling my hands away, blushing slightly again. But he pulled my hand back to his lips, my blush increased tenfold when I felt his tongue stroking my finger, then he pulled it into his mouth completely, now sucking on my finger. I tried pulling away weakly, I couldn't see, which made me feel disorientated and I breathed in sharply, I felt his teeth against my skin as he grinned in triumph, then I let it all out in a shrill scream. I heard a clatter as he rushed to put on his mask again, and the door slammed open.

**A/N: Phew! I did it! I managed to fight off the evil writer's block! I also managed to do my French Oral Test today, _without dying!!!!!_ Anyway, I love you all and the green button is feeling loved! **

**Now, who wants fluff?! Review and tell me who I should fluff Aiko with and I'll do my best to make the next chapter fluffy! Oh and you get a cookie for reviewing!!!**


	7. Lady GaGa

**A/N: Ohmygood_ness_! I've actually written another chapter for Plushie Akatsuki! It's a miracle! And the particular Jesus responsible for this miracle is my loyal reader ChibiIchigo101, who went to the trouble of messaging me, which persuaded me to keep on writing! At first I had a ginourmous English essay of the most boring play in the world, but then I just felt too lazy to continue, a huge hug and cookies for all my readers that still have this story on alert despite my non-existent updates! Oh and one more thing (damn this A/N is long!) by now you should all be aware of my too-big paragraphs, so now I'm asking for a beta, I have no idea how that works, since I have never been a beta or had a beta before, but all it will require is to see if you can sort my paragraphs out (hehe), so if you think you're up to this extremely-easy-for-anyone-other-than-me task, click on the green-....wait a minute....IT'S NOT GREEN! Where has my lovely, shiny, green review button gone? Now it's just a few blue, underlined words with a little icon! That is so un-buttony it cannot be called a button! TT-TT oops off-track, anyway click on the blue, boring, unshiny not-button and leave me a review, or message me if you want to be my beta, that is all, now, let's get on with the chapter!**

**IMPORTANT: Do you remember in the 1st chapter, there was a letter attached to the box, it said 'From AF' I am now changing the letters to 'ST' for plot development reasons, it will be important later on, as in many many many many many chapters later when you've forgotten about it, so REMEMBER this! That is all...**

_Previously in Plushie Akatsuki... "I tried pulling away weakly, I couldn't see, which made me feel disorientated and I breathed in sharply, I felt his teeth against my skin as he grinned in triumph, then I let it all out in a shrill scream. I heard a clatter as he rushed to put on his mask again, and the door slammed open..."_

His hand lifted from my face and I scrambled away from the evil lollipop as fast as possible, backing into the wall, "Tobi" said a voice coming from the door, I looked towards it to see...Pein? Pein nodded at Tobi/Madara, who stood up and followed him out of the kitchen, as soon as the door had closed, I stuck my tongue out at it and got up, dusting myself off. I walked over to the door and opened it just a crack, peering through, I could see a few black cloaks standing over by the sofa, so I opened the door a little more and poked my head out, "What are you, a fucking rabbit?", I jumped, hitting the side of my head on the door. I cradled the side of my head and let the door swing open slowly, and glared in the direction of the voice, only to widen my eyes and look away. Why, you ask? Because Hidan was currently shirtless.

I backed into the kitchen again, shutting the door. I stood there for a moment, trying to force my blush down unsuccessfully, until the handle started to turn, I gasped and held it so it wouldn't move, until a much greater force was exerted onto it and I was forced to let go. The door opened and Hidan stepped in, I rubbed my hands, "What do you want?" I said, trying to look away from his chest, I say trying because my eyes kept flicking towards it, no matter how hard I concentrated on something else, Hidan smirked "What do I want? Well I want a lot of things, I want to kill that money-whore Kakuzu, I want to kill that annoying bastard Tobi, I want to kill-", "Do all your 'wants' involve killing someone?" I interrupted, Hidan paused, and then grinned widely, "No, not all of my 'wants' involve killing someone" he said, looking me up and down suggestively, "Ugh" I said, folding my arms and walking past him, _'Why am I a fangirl to that creep again?'._

All of a sudden, the phone started ringing, I made a grab for it and shielded it from the oncoming kunai knives with a cushion, luckily we had many of these cushions, so my mum wouldn't notice if just one went missing, right? Anyway, I yelled at them all to _shush_, earning me some glares until Pein looked at them, jeez this guy can silence people just by _looking at them_! Oh yeah, the phone. I picked it up and pressed the little green button,

"Hello?"

"_Hey, Ai-Spy",_

my face lit up, it was my best guy friend, Gary, insane and a bit annoying, but funny as hell,

"Hiya, Lady GaGa", I could almost feel his eye-roll,

"_Why do you insist on calling me that?", _

I giggled "Because if I just called you Gary, I'd think of Spongebob's pet snail!",

"_Miaow, hey are you busy?"_,

I frowned "No, why?",

"_Cause Grandpa Joe's coming over!"_,

"Horrors!"

Grandpa Joe was Gary's 84-year-old grandpa, who had huge glasses that magnified his eyes to about ten times their size, teeth that were a yucky brownish colour, a hobby of ramming into people with his remote controlled wheelchair and a tendency to spit when he talked. It was understandable that Gary would call me in his time of need,

"_D'you think I can come over so I can escape?"_,

I grinned "Hmm, I dunno, my mum said not to invite boys over...",

"_Aww, c'mon! You're my only hope!", _

I laughed "Alright, alright, you can come over, only because it would be sad if you were run over or dissolved by acidic saliva",

"_THANKYOU, I owe you one!", _

"You owe me twelve!",

"_Ok, ok! Aaah! The doorbell just rang!"_,

"Quick, get your butt over here!",

"_Ok, I'll see you in a bit!"_, and he hangs up.

I chuckled and put the phone down, and _then_ I remembered the ninja behind me, "OH FUDGE I FORGOT!", I whipped around and opened my mouth, and almost immediately there was a hand over my mouth, AGAIN! Except this arm was attached to black threads coming out of Kakuzu's forearm, I'd seen it a million times in the episodes and fanart, but seeing it in real life was kind of creepy, I wrinkled my nose and thought _'Ewwwwww....."_

Pein sort of-sighed,

_'Don't worry, you're plenty creepy too'_

he glared at me _'Could you pretty please tell Kakuzu to let me go?'_

Pein looked at me like 'well what do _you_ think?'

_'Well, there's someone who'll be here any minute and I don't think you want other people to know about you yet, and if you just kill him then the police...urr...they're kind of like a non-ninja anbu, will get involved and I will go to jail and you'll be stuck as dolls until you rot!'_

Pein blinked, before murmuring "Kakuzu", said person withdrawing his hand and re-attaching it to his forearm, I watched it intently "That is seriously freaky", Kakuzu rolled his eyes and Hidan laughed, I looked at him, "You're even freakier!", he stopped laughing and it was Kakuzu's turn to chuckle, "Shut it you fuckin' money-whore!", I sighed "super-calla-fraja-listic-ecspealla-docious...", and there were several poofs.

I was just arranging the plushies on the sofa when there a knock at the door, I opened it and there was Gary in all his tartan-scarf glory. His hair was long and frizzy so it stuck out like an afro, his skin was the colour of chilli-flavoured dark chocolate (his words, not mine) and his eyes were always glinting with mischief, he was literally 'ma bruvva from anuvver muvver', we didn't really argue, we disagreed on things but in the end we just agree to differ. My skin was pale from staying inside all the time, so we contrasted each other in a good way, we've dressed up as the yin-yang symbol before, he dyed his hair white and I dyed mine a reddish-brownish colour (it was the only dark colour we could find!) and we'd had these big costume-things. Anyway, I let him in and shut the door, "I spy a girl in her pyjamas" he said, chuckling", I looked down at myself, "Well would you look at that!" I said, "Would you mind terribly if I got dressed?" I said in my posh-hostess voice, he shook his head, grinning, "If you let me watch your TV", I laughed, "Sure" and ran into my room, putting on jeans, a t-shirt and the necessary underwear, and then walking back into the lounge.

Gary was watching the music channel that-I-can't-remember-the-name-of, and it was currently playing 'She's so Lovely' by Scouting For Girls, I snuck up behind him and jumped, which resulted in tumbling off the sofa and knocking off all the plushies, finally landing in a tangled heap on the floor, laughing our heads off. Until Gary pinned me to the floor and started tickling me, then my legs were flailing about and I accidentally kicked Mini-Itachi into the air to land on top of Gary's hair, and stay there. Gary kept on tickling, despite my pleads for mercy until, by a chance of fate, he lost his balance and fell forward, only managing to stop by supporting himself on his hands, the only problem with that was where one of his hands landed...

Our faces were red, and we were staring at his hand wide-eyed, where did his hand land, you say? Well, it landed directly on my boob! He squeezed it slightly, unintentionally, which made me gasp, which made _him_ come to his senses and lurch backwards, away from me. I sat up and caught his eye as I was doing so, which made us blush even more. Then we sat on the sofa in awkward silence, until a certain song came on, which made Gary groan and put his hands over his ears, whilst I jumped up and sat closer to the TV. For this song was 'Baby' by Justin Bieber, the hottest male celebrity ever, in my opinion. Gary had been convinced that it was a girl singing when I showed him one of the songs on my iPod, and when he saw a picture, "He's gay"was all he said, I protested to this, and we'd almost started to fight about it, until we got into a glaring contest and made each other laugh.

The TV suddenly turned on and Spongebob appeared on the screen, I whipped around, "Hey!" I said, Gary stuck his tongue out at me and waved the remote, I made a grab for it and he held it high into the air, standing up. I pouted, "That's not fair! You're like a human skyscraper!", he grinned, "Then you must be a teensy weensy cottage", I put on my puppy eyes face and whimpered a bit for emphasis, he didn't buy it, "Nuh-uh, I'm not watching Dustbin Beaver", I glared "Stop calling my precious that!", he raised an eyebrow, "_Your_ precious, eh?", he cradled and stroked the remote, "Then _this_ is _my_ precious" he said, which made me giggle, "But it's _my _TV", he pretended to glare at me, "You'll never take it alive!" and ran to the other end of the room, clutching the remote. I shrugged and pressed a button on the TV, Justin Bieber appeared again,

and then it was Spongebob again, I looked around, Gary was looking at the ceiling, whistling, I turned around, put my finger on the button and turned around again, pressing it,

Gary pointed the remote at the TV, but quickly changed it to scratching his shoulder when he saw me watching.

I sighed and turned the TV off and stood up, I then saw Mini-Itachi still atop Gary's hair, which made me burst out laughing, Gary looked confused, I walked up to him and grabbed Mini-Itachi off his head, and showed him to Gary. Thankfully, Gary was also a Naruto fan, so he knows about the Akatsuki and everything, his favourites are Konan and Tsunade, he poked Mini-Itachi, "When did you get this?" he asked, "For Christmas!" I replied, "I got the entire Akatsuki!", his face lit up, "Even Konan?" he asked excitedly, I sighed "No", he face fell, I giggled, "Only joking, I have her too", he punched my arm playfully, "You're mean!", I waved him off, "C'mon, I'll show you", and I walked over to the sofa again, looking around for Mini-Konan, I saw her and handed her to Gary, who grinned,

"I'll give you a fiver for her!" he said, my eyes widened,

"No!" I said, taking her back. He pouted,

"Ten quid!",

I shook my head, "Nope, I'm keeping her!",

he got down on his knees, "Twenty!",

I folded my arms and raised an eyebrow, "No is no, nothing you say or do will make me give her up!",

he sighed, "Fine, can I hug her?"

I was about to give her to him when I remembered about the poofing and stopped in my tracks, almost as if in slow motion, I saw Gary's hand pluck Konan from my grasp and hug her, I shut my eyes and waited for the 'poof', that I still hadn't heard...

I opened my eyes, Gary was glomping Mini-Konan, who was still in plushie form. I sighed with relief and sank to the floor, Gary paused in his glomping to look down at me curiously

"You ok?", he said, sitting cross-legged in front of me and putting Mini-Konan on his head, I smiled and nodded, "Yeah, just tired"

He grinned, "I bet you were up really late last night watching anime!"

I rubbed the back of my head, "Hehe, well I _am_ an otaku!", I hated lying to him, but what else was I gonna say, 'Oh it's because I'm relieved Konan didn't transform into her real form and I'm tired because I've had to cope with the Akatsuki!', if I'd said that Gary would have either laughed and say that all the anime's gone to my head, or looked at me strangely and called the nearest asylum!

Gary laughed and plucked Konan from his head to resume glomping, which made me wonder why she hadn't transformed, there was no way Gary wasn't using enough strength, he was way stronger than me and glomping Mini-Konan with full force, I frowned, until suddenly I felt an icy chill go up my spine, so I looked at Mini-Konan, who, in her current position, was facing me, I gulped and decided to rescue her before she made up her mind to kill me.

I managed to grab her and held her behind my back, Gary pouted,

"I wasn't finished!"

"I'd like her to remain in one piece!" I mock-glared at him, he stuck his tongue out at me, we laughed.

Then Gary's Crazy Frog ringtone started and he sighed before pulling his phone out, all I heard was something along the lines of,

"Hello, yeah, ok, yeah, what? Oh, ok, has Grandpa gone yet? Phew! Ok, bye!", he closed his phone and looked at me apologetically, "Mum just ran to tell me to come home, Grandpa's gone now so I'll be safe!" he grinned, "Make sure to dodge the pools of acid and shark-infested custard!" I said jokingly, he stared me, "Shark-infested custard?", I waved him off, "Blame Harry Hill", he nodded and stood up, "Well I'd better go", he walked over to the TV and tried to hug it, "Farewell, my precious HD, flat-screen TV! I'll be back!" he exclaimed dramatically before extending his hand to me, "What? My TV get's a hug and I get a handshake?" I yelled with mock-anger and put my hands on my hips, Gary laughed and hugged me, which I gladly returned before he walked to the door and waved before disappearing down the street. I shut the door and picked up the Akatsuki and plopped on the sofa with them on my lap, "Okay, I guess you guys can stay as plushies a little longer, right?", the icy chill from earlier returned, only increased tenfold, I sweat-dropped, "I'll take that as a no then...", I sighed before glomping them all at once, and I was once more enveloped in white smoke.

**A/N: Yay! I did it! It's finished! W00H00! Again, thank you so much for all those people who've waited for this chapter! Now, this chapter wasn't very fluffy, was it? Review if you want a fluffy chapter next! Adieu, adieu, my lovely readers!**


	8. Chakra, Mary Sues and Tongues

**A/N: OMG! I AM SOOOOOO SORRY! PLEASE FORGIVE MEEEE FOR BEING SO LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATE! *bows down japanese styley* GOMENASAI! Ok I'm done apologizing, I have no excuse as to why I'm so late, so please feel free to beat me with sticks! TT~TT **

**I'm finally 16, yay! I got a chocolate fountain and it was yummy!**

**Oh and I mustn't forget to introduce my new beta, NiChu Squad Aurelia! Who will be sorting out my incapability of paragraphing...hehe, sorry about that...**

**Now I'm going to do something I really didn't want to do, but I fear Aiko may become a Mary-Sue...NOOOOOOO! Anywho, you'll see, here's the chappy! (This chappy has a few rude bits and there is Kakuzu fluff, so prepare yourselves, those with shyness!)**

**Disclaimer: Aiko is mine, please don't steal her! :'( And if Naruto was mine would I really be on ?  
**

_Last time on Plushie Akatsuki..._

_"What? My TV gets a hug and I get a handshake?" I yelled with mock-anger and put my hands on my hips, Gary laughed and hugged me, which I gladly returned before he walked to the door and waved before disappearing down the street. I shut the door and picked up the Akatsuki and plopped on the sofa with them on my lap, "Okay, I guess you guys can stay as plushies a little longer, right?", the icy chill from earlier returned, only increased tenfold, I sweat-dropped, "I'll take that as a no then...", I sighed before glomping them all at once, and I was once more enveloped in white smoke. _

Almost immediately I was lying on the floor, with something _very_ heavy sitting on my stomach, I wafted away the smoke with my hands until I could make out the other figures in the room, Hidan being the one sitting on me

_'Why am I not surprised?'_,

I looked around at the rest of the Akatsuki, they were all glaring at me, except Itachi, Pein and Konan, I mean they're _obviously_ too cool for that. I poked Hidan,

"Hey, you can get off now", he glared, I sighed,

"Ok, what did I do?",

Hidan opened his mouth, no doubt to shout some obscenity, when Itachi interrupted him,

"You threw us into the air, kicked me on top of that- that _baka's _head and molested Konan-san", I gasped, that's the most I've ever heard him speak, and with was that...annoyance? Oh...My...God...ITACHI SHOWED EMOTION! Anyway, as I was saying,

"I think molesting is going a bit far! He was just glomping her! I would've done the same to all of you if you hadn't been weird-transforming-plushies! And don't call my best friend a baka! Oh yeah, and if Konan minded, wouldn't she be the one yelling at me?",

I crossed my arms over my chest and added a little 'hmph!' to the end for emphasis. Itachi glared at Konan, who glared back even more menacingly, Itachi sighed and closed his eyes, although I'm sure everybody noticed the little sidestep he took away from Konan. I giggled, and then I noticed Hidan's pedo-grin,

_'Uh-Oh...',_

was all I got to before his hands were up my top, I let out a little "kya!" and turned crimson, too shocked to anything but widen my eyes and stare, then he squeezed, and I started struggling, he manoeuvred himself until he was straddling me, and I punched him in the face as hard as I could, in the split second before my fist connected, I felt a warm, pulsating energy travel up my arm and into my fist, and when it _did _connect, Hidan was thrown backwards, through the air, and crashed into the wall, my jaw dropped and I stared at my hand.

From the floor, Hidan groaned and rubbed his head, I blinked and looked up, everyone was staring at me, they all exchanged a glance with Pein, who nodded, I looked at him questioningly,

"What?" I asked, he looked at me,

"All of us distinctly sensed a burst of chakra...from you", my jaw dropped again,

"From me?", he nodded, I grinned,

"Awesome!" I yelled and punched the air,

"But wait, why do I have chakra? Did it rub off from being around you guys?",

I didn't miss the sidelong glance Pein threw at Tobi/Madara, and the almost non-existent nod that Tobi/Madara responded with. Pein shook his head,

"No, this chakra is distinctly your own, but there is something about it that I recognised", I frowned,

"What do you mean?", Pein closed his eyes,

"Your chakra is similar to that of the Namikaze lineage", he scrutinized me carefully, I thought for a moment,

"Nami...kaze?" then my eyes widened in realisation and I sprinted to my room, there I pulled out one of the drawers full of paper and threw them left and right until I found the character sheets, I sifted through them until I found the one I wanted.

I slumped, my eyes wide,

"It's not...possible...", t

hen I began hyperventilating, so I grabbed a paper bag that was conveniently lying on the floor and breathed in and out until the hyperventilating subsided. Then I walked back into the lounge and plopped onto the floor outside my door, a few black threads wrapped around me and gently dragged me back in front of Pein,

"Are you sure?", I asked, still looking at the floor,

"Absolutely", was his answer,

"How?",

"You are of the Namikaze lineage", I glared ferociously up at him,

"That's not possible!" I yelled, standing up,

"THERE IS NO WAY I CAN POSSIBLY BE RELATED TO MINATO!" I screamed at him, tears pooling in my eyes, Pein's expression didn't change,

"There is no doubt", my shoulders were beginning to shake, I turned around, and the mere existence of the pouffe in front of me only fuelled my annoyance, I kicked it, and it exploded, my eyes widened,

"...Oops..." I said, my previous anger rapidly changing to fear of my mother once she found out, I dropped to the floor and grabbed a few shreds of pouffe,

"Noooooooo! She's gonna kill meeee!", I heard Zetsu mumble,

"And they call _me_ bipolar", I turned and glared at him as he sank into the floor up to his nose.

I got up, dusted myself off and looked over my shoulder at Pein,

"I'll show you how I can't be related to Minato Namikaze", I walked into my parents' room and grabbed a photo frame from my mother's vanity table, then I walked back and thrust it in front of Pein's face, he took it and examined it closely, frowning. I folded my arms and closed my eyes,

"The woman on the left is my mother, she has black hair and brown eyes, the baby in the middle is me, and the man on the right is my dad, he has spiky brown hair and hazel eyes, whereas Minato has _very_ spiky yellow hair and blue eyes, and my dad looks nothing like him!", I got no reply, and I took this as victory and lifted my chin in triumph as the photo was passed to Itachi, who after a while, said

"Henge", my eyes snapped open and my head turned rapidly to look at the Uchiha,

"Eh?" was all I said.

**(I just imagined an 'opening' going here, I really do watch too much anime)**

Itachi looked at me with a smug look and put his finger on the bridge of his nose, which made me think of how sexy he'd look if he did that with glasses, I quickly shook my head to get rid of my thoughts,

_'Damn teenage hormones!'_, Pein's lips twitched,

_'Geh! Get out of my head!'_, the twitch turned into a small smirk, I glared, then he glared at me with his Rinnegan, which was surprisingly intimidating, and I suddenly found great interest in whatever was in the opposite direction, which happened to be Kisame, who turned purple **(yay, purple)** which made me frown in confusion, was he embarrassed? I shook my head, nah, or could he be? I began thinking back to the past few days, where nearly all of them had displayed some sort of interest, surely they weren't _that _undersexed to just go to the first thing wearing a skirt, right? I'd like to think I was at least a teensy bit attractive, although I wasn't that popular at school or anything, and the only thing I'd ever received on Valentine's Day was in reception when one of the boys brought in a ton of chocolate for everyone. My frown turned into a sad face as I began to sink into the sadness of my non-existent love life, until someone poked my forehead, I was brought out of my thoughts by a bright orange mask that was mere centimetres from my face, I jumped back in surprise with a

"Geh!" and a shocked expression on my face. Tobi/Madara cocked his head to the side,

"Are you okay, Aiko-chaaan?", I glared at the "-chaaan", but waved him away

"I'm fine 'Tobi'", I made little speech/quote mark-thingys with my fingers as I said 'Tobi', "I was just pondering a theory" I said, yep, there's no way there's any love interest here,

"But anyway, I'll need proof if I'm supposed to believe that I'm Naruto's sister", they looked at me confusedly, I sighed,

"The Kyuubi Jinchuuriki's half-sister" I re-phrased, and they nodded in understanding. Pein glanced in Hidan's direction, and said Jashinist suddenly sat up with a huge grin, I looked at him warily, until he disappeared and then reappeared in front of me, I yelped and jumped back, or at least tried to, but Tobi/Madara grabbed my shoulders and held me firmly in place, squeezing tightly enough to cause pain when I struggled, then chakra strings and black threads held me in place, and Tobi/Madara let go, then Hidan lifted up my shirt to expose my stomach but not my bra _'_

_Phew!'_, and laid his warm hand on the skin, Pein, Konan, Itachi, Kisame, Deidara and Tobi/Madara did the same, it seems Zetsu was far too comfortable in the floor to move.

The hands on my stomach started getting warmer, and warmer, and warmer, and the heat turned into a swirling, pulsating ball of energy, the light from the various chakras shone from the gaps between the fingers, reminding me of a disco ball, as well as the strange energy I'd felt earlier, I watched the light shimmer for a while before a sudden pain made me gasp, it felt like the ball of energy was now trying to rip through my skin, instead it forced its way through my pores, the pain was excruciating, all I could do was writhe in agony, Sasori and Kakuzu had to use more chakra strings and black threads to keep me steady, then I screamed, Kakuzu put a thread over my mouth, I thankfully bit into it to stifle my scream, and tears began rolling down my cheeks. Then, the strange energy from earlier flooded from every corner of my body to where the ball of chakra was inserted into my body, and the pain disappeared, except for a slight stinging sensation on my skin, they removed their hands and looked at my stomach, I did the same, I could make out a black ring. I gasped and rushed to the bathroom and looked in the mirror, from what I could remember, it looked a little like Naruto's Jinchuuriki seal, except there were ten small swirls around the edge, with a large spiral in the middle. I stared at it, I was so shocked I didn't even realise when Pein and Konan came up behind me until Konan put a hand on my shoulder. I jumped and looked at them in the mirror, and after a pause,

"So...what kind of seal is this?" I said shakily, Pein blinked and took a step forward

"It is a ten-pronged seal, used for sealing chakra, extremely powerful, normally renders a person incapable of using chakra unless the sealer breaks the seal themselves, unless of course the individual that has had their chakra sealed is more powerful than the sealer or someone else breaks the seal, in which case the seal disintegrates", I nodded as I absorbed this new information, and then another question arose in my mind,

"Ok...if I really am Minato Namikaze's daughter, then why don't I resemble him?", this time it was Konan that answered,

"He placed a henge on you from a young age, possibly from within the womb itself in order not to alarm your mother, the seal he probably placed on you later on in your life, when he began to sense chakra from you, a child normally starts showing signs of chakra at around the age of five or six, but judging from the age of the seal, you probably started producing chakra at possibly two or three years of age, the seal has been reinforced every few years, probably when your chakra fluctuated and built up within your body due to non-use, you have had no training, but your sheer amount of chakra is astounding, normally, when chakra is simply left in the body and not used at all, the amount diminishes and eventually disappears altogether", my mouth had opened slightly while I listened to Konan, and once I realised I quickly shut it, my teeth clicking together as I did so. I tapped my bottom lip thoughtfully,

"How would one remove the henge, but be able to put it back so not to arouse suspicion?", Konan tapped her chin in thought before saying,

"I don't think there's a way to temporarily remove a henge, you can only remove it and then put another one on afterwards", I frowned,

"Would the original caster be able to notice if his henge had been removed?", Konan nodded,

"The original caster is always aware when the henge is dropped or replaced with a new one", I bit my lip,

"Shoot! Then he'd immediately notice if the henge was dropped!",

"That's right", Konan replied,

"But if we put another one back on then he wouldn't be able to say anything to my mum cause she doesn't know, or do you think he's told her?", it was Pein who replied this time,

"If he had told her then there would have been no need to place a henge on you, which reminds me, where are your parents?", I looked up

"Hmm? Oh they went to America for a bit of work, America is a great big country across the sea somewhere, I'll show you a map, come with me", I walked out of the bathroom, Pein and Konan following me, I walked into my room and dived under my bed again, crawling forward until everything except from the knees down was poking out from underneath, I finally found what I was looking for and after much struggling, managed to get back out again, my hair looking like I'd been dragged through a hedge backwards. I handed the rolled-up piece of laminated A2 paper to Pein and then tried to fix my hair, giving up after finding several knots and began hunting for my hairbrush. Meanwhile, Pein and Konan were pouring over the map, when I'd finally found my brush and managed to fix my hair, I came and had a look too,

"Whereabouts are we at this moment?" said Pein, and I grabbed a clicky pencil from the floor and clicked it until there was a couple centimetres worth of lead poking out, and then I used it to point at the little word that marked 'Dorset' on the bottom part of England. Konan squinted at the point before saying,

"Your world is far larger than our own", Pein nodded,

"But don't you know what's past the...ummm, what was it...Land of Earth and the Land of Wind?", Konan shook her head,

"There's only vast forest after that, and then the land ends and the sea begins",

"Then what about past the Land of Snow? And the little un-named island next to that?", I asked,

"The Land of Snow is an island, and the next piece of land is unexplored" Konan replied, a bit of uncertainty coming into her voice,

"Hasn't anybody ever tried to investigate or explore the rest of the world?" I almost yelled, Konan looked at Pein and Pein shook his head,

"Nobody has ever thought or considered exploring the rest of the world, there was always too much war to think about than wondering what's out there" answered Pein, I threw my hands into the air,

"But you could be missing an entire world! And if there's other countries then who knows how big the planet is, and the universe! Maybe both our planets are in the same universe, and there's some sort of time space warp thing! The possibilities are endless!", whilst I was ranting, Pein and Konan were staring at me like I was crazy, I noticed and stopped babbling,

"I mean what if...I'll shut up now" and I looked down, embarrassed. Konan stared at me quizzically,

"What's this 'universe' you speak of?", my jaw dropped at her ignorance,

"The universe is made up of billions upon billions of stars and empty space, and collections of stars are called galaxies, and even the sun is a mere star, some people believe that every star has a solar system, which means it has planets around it, now the ninja countries can't possibly be the only island out there, can they?", Pein was frowning and listening intently,

"Does this mean that I cannot conquer the world until I know of these other areas that may exist?", I nodded,

"But it's more of a probably than a maybe, and you'll need to go back to the Ninja World first", which reminded me,

"Hey, why are you all still here? You can't have not tried to get back already, are you stuck here? And how did you get here in the first place?", I demanded. Pein shook his head,

"I have no idea, none of the other members know either, and we need to know whereabouts we are and how we arrived in this dimension before we can attempt to go back", his words rang a bell in my mind,

"That's it!" I said excitedly, Pein and Konan looked expectantly at me,

"Dimension!" I said,

"Sharingan! One of it's abilities is to pull something or someone into another dimension!", their eyes were wide now, Konan looked at Pein,

"Sasuke?" she asked, it was me who replied,

"Nahh, he's still inexperienced, there's no way he could've come up with a technique that advanced, I think it was probably Kakashi, from Konoha, I doubt he's been left unaffected though, in fact it's possible he's blind in that eye now, after using such an advanced and difficult technique, he found it difficult to just suck Deidara's arm into another dimension after a battle, and dragging an entire S-Class organisation into another dimension must prove extremely difficult..", I trailed off when I realised the rest of the Akatsuki were at the door, including Zetsu, staring. I thought I saw a glimmer of red from Tobi/Madara's eyehole and gulped,

"Uh...hello?" I said, along with a little wave, and they burst out laughing, even Itachi chuckled a bit, but Zetsu was silent.

By the time they'd stopped laughing my face was red from embarrassment,

"W-well anyway, since it was probably Kakashi, it's most likely that Konoha was responsible for you guys being here" I continued, Itachi nodded,

"Yes, it does seem very Konoha-like", I smiled,

"Yup! Save the world from baddies sounds like them alright" I giggled. Talking about Konoha had reminded me of Naruto, and Minato, I looked at Pein, a serious look on my face,

"Are you sure that my chakra is definitely Namikaze?", he nodded,

"Most definately", I thought for a second,

"Would the caster notice if the henge was dropped while they were asleep?", Konan replied,

"No, but they would be able to sense it had disappeared as soon as they regained consciousness", I tapped my top lip thoughtfully,

"Alright...do me a favour and dispel the henge, oh but remember this one so you can but it back afterwards" I asked, Hidan decided to make himself known,

"Hey! That's fucking cocky, bitch! Why the fucking hell should we fucking do anything for you?", I sighed,

"As always, your vast vocabulary astounds me, Hidan", this got another laugh from the guys, which only made Hidan angrier,

"Shut the fuck up!" he yelled at them, and made to hit them, "Hidan" said Pein, Hidan stopped his fist and reluctantly let it fall, then he folded his arms in annoyance.

Konan turned to me again,

"This type of henge is merged to the seal, it would be impossible to remove unless the seal was also dispelled", I clenched my fist,

"Dammit! Would you be able to remove the seal?", Konan glanced uncertainly at Pein, who nodded,

"Yes...it would require a great amount of strength, the Yondaime's chakra far surpasses our own, but combining our chakra would overcome it, also, once it is released, your chakra will surge to the surface, which with your amount will cause a great deal of pain, since your body isn't used to the chakra, it will automatically try to get rid of it, and your chakra will exit through your chakra points and may even become visible", I gulped and thought for a second before nodding determinedly,

"Okay, do it", Konan sighed,

"Very well", Pein said, I set my teeth, Pein touched the wrist of his right hand against Konan's left wrist, and their fingers made a ring, their other arms went around each others backs, then the rest of the Akatsuki got into position, putting their hands on Pein and Konan's backs. They closed their eyes and the air seemed to shimmer around them, I saw light build up behind Pein and Konan, where the Akatsuki had their hands, then small flames began to light on the fingertips of Pein and Konan, the first was light blue, the second was orange, then green, yellow, brown, red, dark blue, purple, grey and finally black. I braced myself against the wall, Pein and Konan's eyes opened wide and they thrust their hands towards my stomach, a fingertip on each small swirl, it was like a gut-wrenching punch, and made me cough up saliva. The Akatsuki withdrew their hands, sweat on their faces, breathing heavily.

Nothing happened for a second, I felt my face and pulled a few strands of hair in front of my eyes, it was still the same old dull brown, I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror, to make sure, but my plain old self was still there, the seal on my stomach had disappeared, but other than that, there was no change from what I could see. Then I started trembling, and something in the recesses of my stomach began to burn, I screamed in pain and clutched my stomach, doubling over, and then the rest of my body began to hurt as well, starting from a dull ache and building up until it felt like I was burning alive, I screamed again and collapsed on the floor, writhing in agony, the burning was building up under my skin, pushing, clawing at it, until I was sure I was going to explode!

But then, like when you squeeze a zit and it pops **(yea, I know, it's gross)**, the burning suddenly escaped out of my pores and my body became cool and numb, I opened my eyes to see I was surrounded in a white light, it reminded me of Naruto's Kyuubi Cloak, when he got really angry and the Kyuubi's chakra started leaking out of his body. The white chakra was beginning to fade now, I could feel it slowly going back into my pores and my body was adjusting to it.

I stood up again, my body felt different, as feeling returned to it, a different kind of pain was coming from my chest, my B-cup bra was far too tight and the fabric felt like it was about to cut into my flesh, I quickly undid it and pulled it out through the arms of my t-shirt. I looked at my hands, my skin had gone from it's usual pale to more of a tanned colour, I looked in the mirror, the girl looking back at me had a pretty, round face with big, bright blue eyes and full lips, her hair was mid-length, yellow and framed her face. Her plain white t-shirt was tight around a chest that was far larger than what it had been not too long ago, and what was once a plain, boyish figure was now curvy, with beautifully shaped legs. I looked myself up and down in the mirror, grinned and said

"How you doin'" in the style of Joey from Friends, I laughed and turned around, which made my new enhanced breasts bounce a little, Hidan noticed and wolf-whistled, Deidara and Kisame joined in, Sasori, Itachi and Kakuzu were courteous enough to hit their respective partners upside the head. Hidan yelled at Kakuzu, who ignored him, which pissed off Hidan even more, Sasori spoke next,

"Although, they are right, for example, your henge bust size could not have been more than 34 inches, yet now it looks more like 36 inches", I blushed and covered my chest as much as possible, they weren't _that _much bigger, surely. Then it hit me, this was me, it wasn't something else like a henge, this is what I really looked like! All this time I'd been unsatisfied with my appearance, and I'd put it down to the everyday female insecurities, but it wasn't the real me! The real me was this beautiful girl I could see in the mirror! A smile crept up onto my face and I closed my eyes in satisfaction. When I opened them again I realised that everything was silent, and they were all staring at me, not in a pervy way, or a pissed off way, or even nonchalant, their eyes were slightly wide, Hidan's mouth was slightly open, but the rest had their mouths closed. Kisame had turned a delicate shade of magenta and the rest of them had a slight tinge of pink on their cheeks, except Zetsu, Sasori, Tobi/Madara, Pein, Konan and Kakuzu, although Kakuzu's blush was probably just hidden by his mask, heehee. I blushed and looked away,

"W-What are you all staring at?", Hidan grinned,

"A hot babe", I blushed even more and glared at him, he grinned,

"Even a glare on you looks cute", my eyes widened,

"Sh-shut up! W-What are you saying?", he laughed,

"Your true form looks way better looking than the henge", my embarrassment overcame me and I was silenced, which only made him laugh harder and the others to burst out laughing, which only embarrassed me even more. Then all was silent, and they were all looking behind me with terrified looks on their faces, I looked behind me curiously, and the same scared look was on my face, Konan's Glare of Doom was a force to be reckoned with, then suddenly her face turned into a smile and she said sweetly,

"Let's calm down a bit, shall we?", the Akatsuki and I all nodded frantically. I breathed a sigh of relief and cleared my throat, and then pointed at Hidan and yelled out the Mary Poppins quote before anyone could stop me, he poofed into a plushie and I picked him up,

"You are a dirty perv and you shall be punished!" I said in was I hope was an intimidating way,

"He's laughing at you" said Kisame, I sweat-dropped...obviously not then. I'd had enough of this body, it was too strange and I wasn't scary! I turned to Konan,

"Umm, could you please put the henge back, Konan-san?" even though she wasn't in scary mode any longer, I was still apprehensive and added the honorific, she laughed,

"There's no need to add the '-san', you can just call me Konan", I nodded,

"Hehehe, ok then", Konan nodded,

"Yes, I'll put the henge back now", she made a handsign and I felt her chakra swirl around inside me for a second and then there was a poof as my body reverted back to it's old form, Deidara, Tobi/Madara and Kisame all expressed their displeasure at this with a simultaneous "Awwwww", and Kisame added,

"Hidan says 'aww' too", I sweat-dropped and glared the plushie in my hands, before asking Pein,

"Can he still see?", he nodded, I chuckled evilly (well I hope it sounded evil), and grabbed onto Mini-Hidan by his arm and walked into my bedroom, followed by Kisame, Itachi, Sasori, Deidara and Kakuzu. I sat on my computer chair and searched for my yaoi folder, I clicked on it and the files popped up, I turned to the Akatsuki,

"You may want to leave the room, as these images will disturb you", they looked at me warily before leaving the room in a hurry, I grinned my evil grin and propped Hidan up against some CDs so he was facing the computer screen and couldn't fall over, and then clicked on the file labelled "Akatsuki Hardcore Yaoi Slideshow", I'm lying it's file name was "asdfghjklkjhgfd", but I was loo lazy to type it's real name in when I made it, this particular slideshow went on for about half an hour and was the dirtiest thing on my hard drive, also one of my favourite things on my hard drive **(what? I'm 16! When you reach this age your mind is full of dirty thoughts...or maybe I'm just weird...)**

I moved my mouse onto the file, and clicked it, twice, and pressed the fullscreen button, then I stood up, moved my head behind Mini-Hidan, and whispered,

"Welcome to Hell", and walked away, making my door creak eerily as I closed it, then burst out laughing at my own cheesiness.

A voice next to me said,

"What are you laughing at so hysterically?", I jumped about ten feet in the air and clutched my chest,

"Jeez Kakuzu, you nearly gave me a heart attack!" I yelled, he smirked,

"I shall try not to in the future, your heart may prove worth collecting someday", I forced a laugh,

_'Was that a threat or a joke?'. _Kakuzu was leaning against the wall, arms folded, the permanent frown on his face,

"Why do you always have that angry expression on your face?" I asked out of impulse, and he raised an angry eyebrow,

"What angry expression?" he asked, clearly confused, I paused,

"Umm, like this?" I said, trying to imitate his expression, and failing, he snorted with amusement and I glared at him, and noticed that his eyes were not on my face, but on my chest, I let out a "Kya!" and covered it with my arms,

"S-S-S-Stop staring at them! My face is up here!" I said angrily, blushing madly, he chuckled darkly,

"It's hard not to, with your nipples sticking out", my eyes widened and I blushed darker,

"Th-Th-That's just because the t-shirt's rubbing against them!" I stuttered, he pushed himself away from the wall and took a step towards me, unfolding his arms, I took a few tentative steps back and then he was behind me, I almost shrieked but he put his hand over my mouth, I kept my chest covered up tightly with my arms, he lowered his head to my shoulder and murmured into my ear,

"Then maybe you should take it off", I squealed into his palm and cast about in a panic, looking for the others, but they were all in the lounge, I shook my head and scrunched my eyes shut, then he released my mouth and stepped back, I stood there, confused, and turned around, my confusion must've shown on my face because he said,

"I won't do anything, I don't have much interest in sexual experiences, unlike the others, I only care about getting a good bounty and collecting powerful ninjutsu", I nodded in understanding and breathed a sigh of relief, closing my eyes, opening them wide when I felt a hand on my cheek, he was standing right in front of me, still standing upright, I gasped in shock, but then I remembered that he said he wasn't going to do anything, and relaxed,

"But at least give me this" he said, I looked up in puzzlement and then his lips were on mine, I didn't even see him pull down his mask! His eyes were closed and his lips were surprisingly soft, probably because of the mask he wears. He opened his mouth slightly and instinctively my lips moved with his, we continued open-mouth kissing, my eyes slid closed and my hand moved up to rest on his arm, his other arm snaked around my waist and pulled me closer, while his hand moved from my cheek to the back of my head, fingers threading through my hair, and my arms wrapped around his neck. Kakuzu's tongue licked my lips, and I opened my mouth, his tongue, large and warm and wet explored my mouth, licking around the back of my teeth and the roof of my mouth, I moved my tongue with his, there was a short battle for dominance that he swiftly and easily won, and he changed his technique, he was defter, faster, moving from the roof of my mouth to brush my tonsils and then concentrating on my tongue, which felt amazingly good, enough to make me moan into his mouth, which made me open my eyes wide in astonishment and blush profusely. He withdrew his tongue and grinned against my lips, and then resumed kissing, he licked the tip of my tongue, slowly coaxing me until I reached into his mouth, it was wide, like a huge wet cave, I licked the roof of his mouth and his teeth, and then ran my tongue gently over his in a fluent motion, then, small tendrils began caressing and stroking along my tongue, wrapping and unwrapping around it, stroking it, the numerous sensations made my eyes roll up into my head and my eyes fluttered closed, the tendrils moved further along, until they entered my mouth and began feeling all around, and Kakuzu's tongue kept playing with mine inside his mouth, occasionally nipping my tongue and lips, I went weak at the knees and collapsed, the kiss broke and we stood there, panting, him supporting me until I could stand up on my own.

We stepped apart and I watched him pull his mask up again,

"Well, where did _that_ come from?" I asked, he looked to the side,

"I do not know why I did that" he said, then his eyes flicked back to me,

"What was it like?" he asked, and I thought I heard his voice waver slightly, his gaze was intense, I sighed happily,

"Really really good" I said, then blushed and looked at the floor,

"I-I-I mean...umm...yeah...", he started walking towards the lounge, stopping next to me, and put his hand on my head,

"It was...enjoyable for me as well..." he said, and without a backwards glance, walked off into the lounge. I stared after him for a while and then collapsed to the floor, I leant against the wall and let out a long breath,

"Hidan...Deidara...and now Kakuzu, looks like there might be some love interest after all...".

**A/N**: **Phew! OMG that fluff scene made me blush as I was writing it! -/- **

**Anywho! I hope you liked it, and please please please review! I love you guys for it! I really wish they'd bring the green button back, it used to be green and button-y! Now it's blue words with a line underneath it...-_-...me no likey...no likey at all... **

**Is this my longest chapter? SHIZZLE it's 6187 words! WOOHOO! XD you guys better like it!**

**OMG SHE'S SUCH A MARY SUE! NOOOOOO! please review and tell me how much this chapter sucked! (or didn't suck, hopefully), well anyway, I hope you liked it, tell me if you did, or didn't! I also think I overdid it on the paragraphing...**


	9. Perverts, Perverts Everywhere!

**A/N: Hey guys, long time no see, hehe. Almost two years in fact (sorry about that, and UGH, I can't believe I used to like Justin bieber XP), I'm 18 now, and hungrier than ever for Akatsuki fluff, lemons etc. I promise I shall not disappoint you this time ^.^ or Dei-chan will spank me D:**

_Last time on Plushie Akatsuki:_

_"Hidan...Deidara...and now Kakuzu, looks like there might be some love interest after all..."._

After the exhilarating experience with Kakuzu, there was no way I was just gonna waltz back into the living room as if nothing had happened. God, that was…pretty fucking good, and recalling the memory of the kiss (if it could be called that, more like heart-stopping-mouth-sex if we're going to be realistic about it), my face reddened once more. Knowing that I was in no state to socialise, I decided to cool off with a nice bath, I needed one anyway, after being all icky and sweaty and sick last night _'In bed with the world's hottest sharkman'_, I blushed furiously, damn brain! I snuck into my bedroom with the most stealth I've ever possessed, luckily they were all clustered around the TV, examining it. I prayed to Jashin they didn't harm it in any way, my parents would absolutely murder me.

'_My parents…'_, I thought, could my dad really be Minato? He's supposed to be dead, but then again so are Itachi, Sasori, Deidara, Hidan and Kakuzu. This made me feel kinda sad, over the past couple days we'd grown, well, close, for lack of better words. I suppose that's happened so fast due to all their advances, geez, I've never received so much attention from guys, _'Good thing they're all drop-dead gorgeous'_, my subconscious swooned, and I grinned, "There IS that". I skipped into the bathroom and started running a bath, nice and warm, closing the door and hoping the afore-mentioned drop-dead gorgeous guys didn't hear the water. Once the bath was done, I discarded my clothes in the laundry basket and sunk into the water, devoid of bubbles, foam just gets in the way and I can't wash shampoo out properly, not to mention it totally ruins the effect of conditioner, and I like my hair soft Jashin-dammit!

I sighed peacefully, closing my eyes, letting the warm feeling of the bathwater soothe me, calming me from the situation earlier, for which I was grateful, or else I would never have been able to calm down. But gosh, nothing on the internet could've prepared me for that kiss, I mean, wow, the only other guy I'd kissed was Gary when we went out a couple years back, in the end we liked each other better as mates. I made a sound of content, then opened my eyes, to see Hidan standing in the doorway, mouth wide open, blood trickling from his nostrils onto the floor. For a few seconds, I could only stare back in shock, but then I came to my senses and screamed at the top of my voice.

…

It had been two hours since the bath incident, I was sitting in the middle of the sofa wearing my pyjamas and my great big dressing gown, a towel wrapped around my hair like a turban, waves of utter loathing seeping into the room, so much so that the only ones that could tolerate being any closer than 3 metres were Pein, Konan and Zetsu, who were sitting on pouffes or poking their head and shoulders out from the ceiling. I sent my best lightning dagger glare in Hidan's direction, who infuriatingly, while still too scared to come any closer from the other side of the room, was gloating about what he had seen. The others were clustered around him, trying (and failing) to discreetly ask him about the details, my left temple twitched in annoyance, and Zetsu shrank further into the ceiling, making me wonder whether the rest of his body was sticking out of the floor upstairs, the preposterous mental image of most of an upside-down tickled me, and I couldn't stop myself from giggling. The rabble on the other side of the room stopped and once again, they were staring at me as if I'd gone mad, _'Bit late for that'_, I thought, making me giggle more.

"Geez, un" Deidara sighed, "You're one crazy lady, un", I smiled at him, "Did you only just notice?" I asked him with pretend-indignation, and he laughed. I sighed and relaxed into the sofa, and the living room became neutral ground again, and eventually, everyone was congregated around me, doing their own thing. I think I needed a pyjama day, and even though my dressing gown made me resemble a dumpling, it was cosy, perfect for winter evenings.

Then Tobi/Madara appeared in front of me, his mask inches from my face, making me squeal in surprise. I was on my guard in an instant, but knowing he wouldn't dare do anything in front of the others, I decided he was being Tobi right now, "Ai-chan, your eyes are a different colour" he said, and immediately everyone stopped what they were doing and focused their attention on me, a few minutes later Deidara, Hidan, Tobi/Madara and Sasori were crouching in front of me, trying to get a good look. "They really have, un! They're blue now, un" exclaimed Deidara, Sasori nodded in agreement and Hidan got uncomfortably close to my face, making me lean away, which made my towel fall off, and my slightly damp hair fell free.

Then their mouths dropped open, "Whaaaaaaaaaat(,un)?", even Kakuzu, Itachi, Pein and Konan were staring in astonishment, slowly, I took a lock of my hair and held it up so I could see it, and it was blonde, BLONDE! "What the actual fuck?" I yelled, looking up to Pein, Konan, anyone. Pein shared a meaningful look with Konan, who nodded, "It seems we were wrong about the henge" he said, "But then what the hell is going on?" I spluttered, the Akatsuki looked at Pein for an answer, but he shook his head, he had no more of an idea than the rest of us. Tobi/Madara was the next one to speak, "Maaaaybe Yondaime-san suppressed his genes instead of using a henge, beeeeecaaaaaause it takes a looooooot of energy to maintain a henge forever and ever" he said in his baby voice. Peint nodded, "Yes, that makes sense, and when we released the seal earlier, those genes suddenly rushed to the surface, it only appeared to be a released henge as we had just destroyed the seal, had Konan not replaced the henge, your looks would have continued to slowly change to those of which you now possess".

I thought about it for a moment, then said, "I guess that makes sense" and shrugged. Hidan, standing behind the others, had an evil twinkle in his eye, "Now there's only one thing to do", we all looked at him questioningly, but he only tapped his nose, looking at me with those scorching purple eyes of his and that sexy smirk, _'Oh no, what's the perv thought of this time?'_. In a flash, he was right in front of me, pinning me to the sofa, and in the next instant, whipped off my fluffy dressing gown, revealing my pyjamas. As my lovely Akatsuki pyjamas were too sticky to wear tonight, I'd picked out a white tank top and some comfy black shorts, it was the least amount of clothes I'd worn in front of them, not including Hidan's perverted antics.

I blushed as they stared, my hair was now only a shade or two darker than Ino's hair, my eyes were dark blue, I was still skinny, but now I had an ass and actual boobs, and those nice legs. I forgot about the others and took a good look at myself, _'There is a god!'_ I thought gleefully, and did a little happy twirl. Then I became aware of myself again, thankfully, most of them had gone about their own business, Pein and Konan were in deep discussion, Tobi/Madara was pestering Zetsu, Hidan and Deidara were grumbling at each other while Sasori and Kakuzu looked on in annoyance. Kisame winked knowingly at me then sat on the floor with Samehada and started crooning to it, I frowned in puzzlement, then came into eye contact with Itachi, and my breath caught in my throat.

His eyes were red, sharingan blazing, I froze, and suddenly noticed just how beautiful he really was, piercing red eyes, a casual frown playing across his face, accompanied by a dangerously sexy smirk. It was so totally bad boy that I flushed, and the way he was looking at me was positively _**sinful**_! I gasped as his sharingan swirled, becoming the Mangekyou, and before I could react, I was dragged into the negative world.

**(WARNING: Intense lemon ahead!)**

I was tied behind my back to a post, forcing me to stand straight, making me push my chest out. The ropes didn't chafe, they felt soft and actually quite comfortable, except I was tied too tightly to even try and escape. Then Itachi was there, standing directly behind me, I could turn my head enough to glance at him, and noticed that he was shirtless, _'Oh God, why must they all be so sexy?'_, he chuckled softly, then I remembered that my thoughts were exposed in this world, and blushed.

I could feel his breathing on my ear and neck, which was delicious, and a pleasant shiver worked its way throughout my body, from head to toe, inside and out, Itachi slowly walked around until he was facing me, saying, "In this place, I am in control, I can do anything I want to my captive, make them feel anything I want them to, whether it's pain…" he paused, leaning forward until his mouth was right by my ear, and whispered, "…or pleasure". This made me squirm, the situation was just so damn HOT! Once again, I was at the mercy of an Uchiha, but this was bloody brilliant!

He pulled back from my ear, then stepped forward until he was completely pressed against me, one arm curling around my waist, the other travelling up my back until it reached the nape of my neck, and he pulled my face towards his. When our lips touched, I felt the most glorious sensation spread through me, it was passionate, and Itachi soon deepened the kiss, allowing me no time to recover from his initial onslaught, and I practically melted in his arms. His mouth was hot and tasted oh-so good, making my head spin,

I barely noticed hands reaching around me from behind, slowly inching their way over my stomach, neither here nor there, which was incredibly frustrating, and made me want it all the more. There was an Itachi furiously kissing me, one hand on my ass and the other in my hair, and there was another Itachi behind me, kissing and sucking on my neck and earlobe, while his hands continued their teasing on my stomach. His hands were everywhere except those places I desperately wanted them to be, until finally, Itachi No.2's hands slipped under the hem of my tank top and continued his ministrations on my bare skin. His hand grazed my left breast and I moaned into Itachi No.1's mouth, who's hand was now groping my ass, and writhed in pleasure between them both.

The first Itachi broke the kiss and moved his mouth to my ear, "I've heightened your sense of touch in this world, making you much more sensitive, and I can increase that amount indefinitely" he whispered, this time in a low, sexy voice that made me weak at the knees, _'Oh my god, I'll go insane if he increases it any more'_, I thought breathlessly. He chuckled, "There's still a ways to go until that", with that he kissed me again, and the second Itachi gently placed his hand over my breast. It was like electric, the simple touch made me throw my head back onto Itachi No.2's shoulder, and Itachi No.1 began trailing kisses along my jawline and down my neck as No.2 placed his other hand on my other breast, and began palming them, kneading them softly between his long fingers. I was lost to him, the unfamiliar hot sensation spreading its way from my breasts to my belly, where it flared, making me gasp.

No.2 began tweaking my nipples as he palmed my breasts, sending numerous electric shocks through me, which were building up more and more in my belly. No.1 removed his hand from my ass and pulled my tank top up and over my head, leaving me topless and completely exposed, while No.2 reached his right hand up to my cheek, turning my head towards him. Then No.1's kisses were travelling ever lower, over my collarbone and onto my right breast, where he began sucking on the nipple. I moaned again, and the area between my legs began to throb. It was almost unbearable, caught between lustful kisses and two pairs of hands, pressed between two versions of one of the most handsome men I'd ever seen, his smouldering eyes that were oh-so-sexy, and his skilful hands that continued to assault every weak spot on my body, except one. No.1's tongue swirled around my nipple as he sucked it, the rough texture of his tongue stimulating me even more while his counterpart's tongue was exploring my mouth with an intensity that overwhelmed me. The feeling in my groin reached a peak, and then white-hot pleasure exploded from it, making me cry out.

When I opened my eyes, I was lying on the floor of the negative world, Itachi leaning over me, his hands either side of my head, his face showing a triumphant smirk. He was still shirtless, his muscles standing out clearly, I blushed crimson, replaying the previous events over and over in my head, and he grinned, _'When will I learn not to think in this place?'_, that made him chuckle. I pouted in annoyance, although it was half-heartedly, I didn't have enough energy to be mad at him for his abrupt barrage of pleasure, he leant down on his elbows, face inches away from mine, and brushed a stray lock of hair from my face, "Well then…" he said softly, "…it's about time we returned", and he kissed me.

**(lemon finished ^/^)**

The world swirled and suddenly, I was back in the living room. Pein and Konan were still talking, probably on the same sentence they had been when I was sucked into the Mangekyou, Deidara and Hidan's argument was becoming increasingly heated, and Kakuzu brought his hand up to his forehead to rub his temples in irritation. Kisame was grinning at Samehada, and Zetsu was sinking further into the wall to escape from Tobi/Madara. Then there was Itachi, who was leaning his elbow on the arm of the sofa, smirking victoriously at me, his eyes having now returned to their normal cool grey.

He was completely relaxed, I, on the other hand, was flustered to no end! As images began to flash through my head, my body began to react to my mental state, my face flushed bright red, then a fountain of blood burst from my nose, the force of it propelling me backwards onto the floor, where I lay dazed and dizzy.

This caught everyone's attention, and they all turned to look at me in confusion. Tobi/Madara began to wail, "AAHHH! Aiko-chan, are you okay? What happened Aiko-chaaaan? Are you hurt Aiko-chan?", he bounded over, grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me vigorously, then rubbed his mask against my cheek like a kitten, which was disgusting, considering Madara was his true identity. I struggled feebly to push him off, having still not recovered from my nose's outburst. Itachi was the only one who remained unfazed, and hadn't moved from his spot on the sofa, his smirk had widened and his eyes were closed, in complete cool mode.

Hidan, in a surprising moment of observation, noticed this first, "Hey! You fucking smug bastard! What the fuck did you do?", he yelled at Itachi, who opened his eyes lazily to look in Hidan's direction, who was baring his teeth, looking absolutely furious. Deidara held up his hands, "Hey hey, calm down, what's up, un?", Hidan aggressively pointed at Itachi, turning to yell a reply, "This fucking bastard did something! He bloody used his fucking sharingan on her!". The others looked at Itachi in puzzlement, except for Konan, who was kneeling beside me, waving a paper fan she had just conjured up at my face to cool me down, and Kisame, who was sitting cross-legged on the floor with Samehada, was grinning from ear to ear.

Itachi closed his eyes again, and smiled with a proud, "Hn", Hidan took this as confirmation and lunged towards Itachi, seizing him by the front of his cloak and forcefully lifting him to his feet, "What the fuck did you do, bastard?!", Itachi looked at Hidan and smirked, "Nothing she didn't enjoy" he said smugly. Hidan snarled and threw Itachi back onto the sofa, reaching for his scythe, Kakuzu immediately sent his forearms shooting towards Hidan, grabbing him by the wrists, who struggled against them, at which point Sasori used chakra strings to bind him where he stood, and made him drop the scythe, leaving him cursing fiercely. Kakuzu withdrew his arms, re-attaching them to his body, before glaring darkly at Itachi, his eyes hidden in shadow, "Is that true?", he said menacingly, Itachi's smirk became a full-fledged grin, "Why of course, what reason would I have to lie?", Kakuzu remained silent, and began glaring at the floor.

Konan was now administering a jutsu that would restore my energy, and the soft green light soothed me. A while later, I was feeling much better, and sat up, stretching my arms. Meanwhile, Hidan was sitting on a pouffe, his arms folded and shooting poisonous glares at Itachi, Pein had forbidden him from attacking the sharingan wielder, and he was sulking. The blood had vanished, another jutsu no doubt, and the clock on the wall told me it was supper time, my stomach growled, reminding me that I hadn't had lunch that day, and no wonder! After all the goings-on today, I'm surprised I haven't passed out yet! I wandered towards the kitchen after thanking Konan for the jutsu, to find out what there was to eat.

After having no luck in the fridge (well, nothing I could cook, I'm useless at cooking), I bent down to rummage through the freezer, in case there was anything frozen that came with instructions, when someone wolf-whistled behind me. I jumped and looked round, Kisame was leaning against the door frame with his arms folded, grinning appreciately at me, "Geh, pervert" I pouted in mock-annoyance, and returned to my rummaging. He walked towards me and knelt down next to me, "What are you doing?" he asked, "Looking for food", I replied, and crouched down to reach the bottom drawer. He stood up and opened the fridge door, "Yeah, I checked there already, nothing of any use to me" I said, moving yet more complicated foods out of the way, "But there's loads in here!" he said, "I know, I'm completely talentless when it comes to cooking, but I must eat!" I exclaimed. Kisame began searching through my fridge, picking out different foods and placing them on the kitchen surface, "What are you doing?", I asked, he grinned down at me, "Making dinner". I stood up and closed the freezer door, examining his ingredients, there were leeks, potatoes, carrots and an onion, but there were more coming.

Kisame finished with the fridge and shut the door, moving onto the freezer, from which he pulled out some salmon steaks, also setting them on the counter. Then he pulled out the chopping board from behind the microwave, took a knife from the magnetic strip attached to the wall and set them down next to the food. He looked through the cupboards until he found a wok pan, and placed it on the stove, reaching for the bottle of olive oil and pouring a little into the pan. Once that was done he rolled his sleeves up and began chopping the vegetables so quickly that his hands were a blur, and before long they were all sliced and diced. I leant on the counter, watching him work, tossing the chopped vegetables into the wok pan and turning on the heat, shaking it a little to spread the olive oil, then he mixed some other things together to make a sweet sauce, letting me taste some with a teaspoon before pouring it into the pan. The vegetables that had been hissing and spitting began to bubble quietly, and he used a wooden spoon to stir it all together. Then he moved onto the salmon, cutting it into blocks, before that too ended up in the wok pan. He rifled through my cupboards a bit more until he found rice and a large saucepan, which he filled with water and put on the hob, sprinkling in a bit of salt and olive oil. He continued stirring the wok pan, making sure that everything was cooking properly, occasionally adjusting the heat, and when the water had boiled, he poured the rice into the saucepan, which was ready after about ten minutes. Then he took out 10 bowls from my cupboards, and pulled my set of rainbow chopsticks out of the cutlery drawer. Then he served the rice in bowls, and using a ladle, poured the contents of the wok pan over each one. It smelled heavenly, and my stomach let out a loud "GRRRRRRRRRRRRR~" in appreciation. Kisame grinned, "So, wanna help me bring them out?" he asked, and I nodded, "It's the least I can do", Kisame winked playfully at me, "You did promise me you'd do anything" he said, I blushed and stuck my tongue out at him, then grabbed a couple of trays to bring the food out into the living room.

"Hey, what is it that smells so good, un?" said Deidara, looking in our direction, Tobi/Madara leapt into the air in glee and started skipping from one foot to the other, "It's Kisame-senpai's legendary cooking!" he yelled, and skipped his way over to us, reaching for the black chopsticks and taking a bowl over to the rug, crossing his legs and digging in with an "Itadekimasu!" (thankyou for the meal). The others did the same, and soon everyone was eating enthusiastically. It really was delicious, and once I had finished, I was certain I'd never tasted anything so yummy in my entire life, except perhaps chocolate.

**A/N: Well there you have it folks, I hope it pleases you! Tell me what you think of my writing two years on and please tell me if you want more! As ever, that review button looks awfully lonely, but now it's accompanied by a woefully empty review box! Do the poor thing a favour and type some words into it, I'm sure it would love to hear your opinion on this chapter! :P**


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